wasteland, baby!

45

It doesn't really hit Jungwon until after he's taken care of Jay's wounds.

Until after he's stopped the bleeding, wrapped it up in bandages that he found from the first aid kit his family still kept in the bathroom.

Didn't sink in until after he set Jay's arm into place, making a makeshift splint from old newspapers and tape he found in the attic, dustier than he'd ever seen it.

Doesn't take time to think about it until after he's cleaned the blood off of Jay's face and body and applied bandages to the bigger cuts.

Tries not to think about what happened until after he's taken care of Jay, making sure he was okay (well, as okay as he could be) and helping him settle down gently on the bed of the guest room downstairs.

Jay grabs his wrist gently and tells him not to check his parent's bedroom when Jungwon turns to leave to find some aspirin for him. Jungwon wants to go check because that's just the type of person he is, but Jay knows him, can see it in his face and tells him as gently as he can that his mom and sister hadn't made it either.

"Spare yourself the image," Jay tries to say gently, and Jungwon doesn't know how to tell him that the image is already engraved in his head, even if he doesn't actually go and see it.

Jungwon nods blankly, though, suddenly not being able to feel anything, and avoids looking at the slightly open door of his parent's bedroom as he makes his way to the kitchen.

He finds the aspirin and brings it up to Jay with some water because he knows that despite the tough guy act he's putting on, he's in pain and needs to rest. He props pillows up against the bedframe and helps Jay lay back down against them, careful of the splint and not to make Jay's soft, labored breaths worse as he moves around.

It's not until he's staring at himself in the bathroom after washing his own face that he realizes that the only person he has left in this world is Jay.

No family, no friends, no one else but Jay, and he had been so close to dying today.

Not only that, he's had to shoot a version of his father that, zombie or not, still fucking hurt. His mom and sister were dead. He'd watched his classmates and best friends be torn apart and he almost witnessed that today with Jay.

Jungwon feels his chest start to tighten and suddenly he can't remember how to breathe.

He grips the sink tightly and stares at himself in the mirror. He feels like he had that day when he was alone with the zombie— detached from his body and suddenly so, so tired. He keeps looking at himself in the mirror but can't convince himself that it's him that's staring back.

He opens the medicine cabinet to break away from the stranger staring at him and tries to name everything inside as his breathing starts to finally slow down.

He doesn't notice how hard he slams the medicine cabinet back closed until he sees the big crack in the glass running down the middle of the mirror. He steps away shakily, making his way back to the room, not breathing until he gets back to Jay.

He curls up next to him, trying his best not to jostle him around and pulls Maeumi close to his chest.

He doesn't sleep. Just listen to Jay's soft, even breaths and steady heartbeat that proves he's alive, alive, alive until the sun comes out.