wasteland, baby!

24

Nighttime is still the worst freaking time.

Especially now with the temperature dropping the higher north they travel. It's -1 degrees right now (30 Fahrenheit, save that celsius shit for Canada) and Jungwon's wrapped up in all the clothes he has.

They're huddled up in another deserted car in the middle of god knows where, (Tampa tells him they're still in Illinois, whatever that means) and Jungwon's trying to his best to focus on anything else besides the cold. Tampa wasn't able to get the car to start this time, something about the battery probably being dead, so they decided to crash there for the night instead.

The car has no top, ripped off and thrown somewhere off to the side and Jungwon doesn't want to imagine what happened there. He shivers, this time not from the cold, and wraps his hands around himself tighter.

Tampa keeps going at him for being Canadian and not being able to stand a little cold, but he's pressed up right next to his side, teeth chattering away, almost too loud for the music playing from the radio to be heard, so Jungwon doesn't think he really has any ground to stand on there.

There's a soft song playing in the background and it's making Jungwon a little sleepy, but he's too cold to actually fall asleep. He looks up at the sky instead and is instantly awestruck by how many stars were out tonight. The Milky Way was graciously letting itself be seen, surrounding and enveloping them in a swirl of light and Jungwon suddenly felt so small.

He reaches a hand out towards it, not being able to help himself as he traces over the pattern of stars with his small finger, trying to connect constellations he knew nothing about together. He lets his hand fall back to his side, wrapping it around himself when it gets too cold. He lets out a small breath and tips his head back further, trying to take it all in and understand the feeling that washes over him suddenly. A mixture of grief, astonishment, and longing.

He turns his head to the side after a while, feeling eyes on him and is surprised to see Tampa staring at him, expression soft and thoughtful and Jungwon suddenly can't look away, finding this sight better than the sky up above.

From this close, Jungwon can see that Tampa has these tiny freckles on his face that Jungwon wants to trace over with his fingers, too.

"...Remainders of a shooting star landed directly on our broke down little car... Before then we had made a wish that we would be missed if one or another just did not exist..." the guy in the song sings in the background and Jungwon turns his head away from the other boy , feeling too much and not being able to handle it.

"Jay," Tampa says, so softly that it kind of blends in with the music and Jungwon's not sure if he even really spoke at all, but he turns his head to look at him. "That's— My name's Jay," he explains, louder this time, still looking him in the eyes.

Jungwon's heart does a funny little flip inside his chest as he looks at Tam- looks at Jay, smiling softly at him, skin glowing underneath the stars and the moon. He doesn't look real in this moment and Jungwon doesn't really feel real either, and he searches Jay's eyes desperately to help keep him grounded.

"Cause that's what we're waiting for, that's what we're waiting for, that's what we're waiting for aren't we?" the guy's voice continues to sing in the background and Jungwon lets out a small breath. He's too afraid to speak up, to ruin the moment. His brain just keeps repeating Jay, Jay, Jay over and over in his head and every time he blinks he swears he sees that name etched into his eyelids.

But Jay is still looking at him with that soft unguarded look on his face, a small smile tugging at his lips, a little nervous but also sure at the same time and Jungwon knows he's waiting for him to say something.

"Of course your name is Jay, ?" Jungwon blurts out.
Jay's eyebrows furrow down and the small smile that tugged at his lips is set in a straight line now and Jungwon's heart sinks a little, sure he's ruined the moment by opening his dumb mouth as always, but then Jay is tipping his head back to laugh and Jungwon feels that little flip turn into summersaults inside his chest.

"What does that mean?!" Jay asks, looking over at him. "It's just that you're so cool and all, so of course your name is cool to match up" Jay only laughs and Jungwon grins back at him, relief washing over him.

The song comes to an end, and another slow one starts. They stay like that, in comfortable silence, listening to the music and looking up to the sky, watching the stars skittered around the black canvas for what feels like an eternity but also only a second.

The song ends again and another one comes on and Jungwon holds his breath and finally gathers enough courage to inch his hand slowly over to Jay's. His pinky brushes over Jay's hesitantly, and when Jay doesn't move his away, Jungwon takes the chance to settle his smaller hand on top of Jay's.

"Sorry, 'm cold," Jungwon murmurs into his scarf, still not looking at Jay, trying his best to keep his eyes fixated on the stars above. It's not a lie, he is cold. And touching Jay always seems to warm him up.

Jay's hand moves to wrap around Jungwon's, intertwining their fingers and Jungwon really does feel like his heart is about to jump through his throat.

"Yeah, me too," Jay murmurs back and he starts to rub soothing little circles over Jungwon's knuckles with his thumb.

Jungwon thinks about how easy it would be to turn his head and kiss Jay. How easy it'd be right here, underneath the safety of the moonlight and the stars and the soft croon of music playing in the background, but he can't move. Suddenly too scared to do anything else but just remember to breathe, in and out, in and out, like Jay had showed him.

Another song starts, and then another, and they stay like that. Holding onto each other and watching the stars.

It's after another song ends and a soft one begins to play, that Jungwon hears Jay's breathing slow down. Jungwon takes that moment to chance a look over at Jay, sure that he's fallen asleep.

His face is completely at peace and Jungwon feels so warm inside, feels it all over his body and swears he can feel it seep out of him and touch everything else around him, too. Jay's name becoming a constant, pleasant hum over and over in his head.

He falls asleep to the radio playing softly. The guy's voice softly singing.

"And I love too, that love soon might end... Be known in the shaking... Lately of my wasteland, baby..."