winter falls ━ hyunsung. ✓

xix › and we fall apart.

it was 3:13 in the morning.

jisung rubbed his eyes, having lost count of how many times he'd done so in an attempt to stay awake.

but, no. how could he feel sleepy? hyunjin was coming back today.

well, he was supposed to. but jisung had stayed up all night waiting for him, and nothing.

he picked up his phone and nervously typed out another message to hyunjin, expressing concern for his whereabouts. however, he ended up backspacing the entire message away.

kkami was sleeping soundly on the mattress, having succumbed to slumber hours ago. jisung ran a hand through the dog's fur, hoping hyunjin was okay.

the more time that passed, the more that jisung began to worry that something was wrong.

finally, at 4:53 in the morning. a call blared across his phone screen, and jisung answered it, noticing hyunjin's contact name.

an unfamiliar voice spoke, however.

"um, hi, is this... jisung? sammy's boyfriend?"

somehow, the worst possible scenario flourished in jisung's mind and he fought back the hysteria while begging, "please... please tell me he's okay."

"oh, don't worry. he's just passed out on my couch right now," said the kind voice on the other end. "my name's christopher; i'm sammy's friend and temporary roommate... um, he told me he was supposed to go home today? but, uh... yeah, i don't think that's happening. sorry."

jisung closed his tired eyes, shoulders slumping. "to be honest, i kinda figured that would happen."

"oh, i'm sorry. hey, if it's uh, any consolation, he talks a lot about you, all the time," chris offered weakly, and then continued, "he's just been busy working on some art piece this entire time. i told him to just get home and finish it there, but he didn't want to, for some reason. i just stepped out of my stu- room, and he was just knocked out cold on the couch."

"thanks anyway, for letting me know, at least," jisung spoke glumly. "i'll get to sleep now."

not long after, the call ended, and jisung crawled into the blankets to curl up in the center of the mattress. the sleep had been chased from his body, and yet he tried desperately to understand.

the art program was prestigious. of course hyunjin had to work hard. it was unreasonable for jisung to feel so lonely, cast aside.

he couldn't even explain himself?

and, the next day, once hyunjin had finally arrived back in town, jisung immediately forgave him. though... hyunjin had never really... apologized.

"no."

hyunjin faltered. his chest rose and fell quickly with short breaths of disbelief. "'no'? why... why 'no'?"

their hands were still laced together. jisung felt selfish for wanting to continue holding on.

"'no' because you're busy with school," he shook his head, "'no' because... our paths are different. and 'no' because..." jisung suddenly took his hand out of hyunjin's with a start as minho's face filled his mind. "...'no' because i have someone else now."

hyunjin balled his hands into fists at his sides. "that guy? you can't be seriously choosing him over me. i'm so much better than him."

jisung huffed and stomped his foot, waving his hands around, "don't do that! you're being unfair! why can't you see things from my point of view?"

he wrapped his arms around his torso again, as if giving himself a hug of comfort. it was a habit jisung did unconsciously, a habit that had started up ever since hyunjin had started the art program.

seeing that, struck a nerve in hyunjin. he connected the course of events and realized that jisung had never really done that before they dated. ergo, that attempt at comforting himself... started up because of him?

"i'm so... so... sorry, sungie."

hyunjin stepped forward and hesitantly wrapped his arms around his torso, resting his cheek on the top of jisung's head.

jisung leaned his forehead onto hyunjin's shoulder and relaxed his body. his hands lightly pressed against his chest, feeling the heart beat at his fingertips. somehow, hyunjin's long-awaited apology cascaded down the length of jisung's body, chasing away the hurt.

and the words rose up in jisung's chest, too. he felt the need to apologize as well. after all, he hadn't been truthful with hyunjin to a certain degree.