|2nd Book in The Devil May Care Series|
They're more alike than they think.
At war with himself, Loki struggles to get his life on track. He struggles with manic depression-in other words, bipolar. He feels alone, trapped in his own mind as he refus...
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My fist meets the wall for the third time, my knuckles aching at the impact of it before stepping away from it and walking out the office. I didn't care if I got in fucking trouble. The principal was taking to damn long to come back so fuck her. My temper was over the fucking roof today, everything was pissing me off.
Why did I say that to Eris? Why the fuck would I say that? I run both of my hands through my hair, my hands twitching for a fight. Why? Why? Why? Why would I say something like that?
I take my phone out, searching for her contact before calling her. I sigh deeply as I lift it up to my ear, only to be sent straight to voicemail. "Shit." I mutter, "C'mon Eris. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up." I growl, calling again but once again, I'm sent straight to voicemail. My heart thuds harshly against my chest and I feel fear finally settle in. She was never going to forgive me. Why did I say that? What if she never speaks to me again?
I feel my throat tighten and my neck prickling at the thought. How did we even get to this point? When did we stop being close? When did she stop smiling? When did I stop noticing? What happened to us?
Why can't you just get over it? I had asked her. Couldn't she see that I was no good for her? Why couldn't she let go of her feelings for me? I was a fucking loser with anger issues. I lashed out and hurt peoples feelings. How many times had I hurt her feelings already? Didn't she see how bad it could get if we ended up together? It would be toxic, nothing good would come from it. We worked better as friends. It didn't matter how bad I wanted her, I wasn't good enough for her.
My eyes clench shut as I remember her tear filled face in the office. I could still feel the sting of her palm against my cheek as I stumble out the front entrace of the school, my hand digging into the pocket of my jacket. My fingers graze something small and I bite my lip before pulling it out. It was a small bag that contained crushed up Xanax. Xanax that I had picked up yesterday because I thought I'd need it but stopped myself when I realized what I was doing.
It had been a year since I've had any type of drug. A year since I touched a drink and right now everything was screaming at me to take the substance in my hand.
I stare down at it for a long moment before glancing at the trash can beside me. Was it really worth it? One hit wouldn't hurt, would it? It's not like anyone would notice. It'd make me feel better. Calmer, less tense. Maybe even happier.
I push any guilt away before using my finger to test it out, licking my pinky and dipping it into the crushed powder. I hesitate, eyeing my surroundings to make sure I'm alone before bringing my pinky into my mouth to rub it against my gums.
I make my way towards my car as I let it absorb. It isn't until I settle into my drivers seat do I feel my gums start to numb. I grab one of my school books out of my backpack, setting it onto my lap as I look for something to line it up. When I finally open up my wallet, I find my debit card and a small peace of paper that I can use to snort it.
