|2nd Book in The Devil May Care Series|
They're more alike than they think.
At war with himself, Loki struggles to get his life on track. He struggles with manic depression-in other words, bipolar. He feels alone, trapped in his own mind as he refus...
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My nose burns as I finish sniffing all the white substance. Today, I felt little regret and only hope for it to finally fucking kill me. It had been three days since I had last spoke to Eris and when I asked about her, everyone avoided me so I went to my room and got myself high to numb whatever I was feeling.
I have to shut my eyes for a quick minute to let it settle in since it felt like my brain was about to pop. I spin in my chair when I open my eyes again as I stare up at the ceiling. It felt like the room was closing in on me as I continued to stare so I stopped before pulling out my phone.
Lucas had texted me but I had ignored his messages, we hadn't spoke neither. What else was there to say? If he didn't want me to breathe down his neck then I wouldn't. His first text was about Eris, asking me what happened but I had no idea what he was talking about and when I asked him what he meant, he told me to forget about it. The next text he sent was an apology but I ignored him, I didn't need an apology for the way he felt.
I glare down at my phone screen, staring at his last text. "Please. Talk to me. You're my brother, I don't want to fight with you." I run a hand through my messy hair, I didn't want to talk.
We aren't fighting, I quickly type before hitting send. I'd see him later anyways, we lived together so I couldn't ignore him even if I wanted to.
My head spins for a moment before I force myself up. If I don't move, I'll overthink and overthinking always ends up bad for me so I make my way out my room before heading downstairs, only to come in contact with LeRoy. Huh. "Why aren't you in school?" I ask, watching as he hesitates to meet my eyes.
He shrugs, "I'm feeling to many things right now and wanted to be away from other students." He explains to me.
My eyebrows furrow, "You're overwhelmed. What's the matter? Did something trigger it?" I ask, concern bubbling up in my stomach. LeRoy struggled with alexithymia but his ADHD also interfered with it, making it worse. He felt to much and didn't know how to express his feelings. His emotions attacked him all at once and it was difficult for him to understand it. It made him uncomfortable, sometimes angry, confused, or sometimes he felt nothing.
He frowns, "I don't know what triggered it. I just woke up and it felt like my brain was being scribbled on." He tells me and I analyze the marks against his neck. I feel my stomach churn, already knowing what type of episode he had this morning. I remember the first time it happened. He was fourteen and started freaking out. I remember holding his arms back because he wouldn't stop banging on his head and crying that something was wrong with him.
The image of him red in the face and thrashing in my arms because he couldn't understand what was happening will always stay with me. I remember him him breaking down in my arms because he was so scared, he dug his nails into the skin of his neck because it was just to much.
He see's me looking at his neck but offers nothing but a weak smile. "Nava is coming over tonight." He informs, "I invited her. I just...really need her right now. She the only one who really understands it." He struggles, afraid to hurt my feelings but I understood. Fun Fact? Nava also struggled with ADHD but LeRoy was better at handling it, though I think it's only because Nava struggled with alot of other things as well. It's why they were so close, they understood eachother and were able to trust and confide in eachother.
