|2nd Book in The Devil May Care Series|
They're more alike than they think.
At war with himself, Loki struggles to get his life on track. He struggles with manic depression-in other words, bipolar. He feels alone, trapped in his own mind as he refus...
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My leg bounces up and down as I try to focus on the lesson in class. My eyes kept wandering over to Loki's desk that was empty and I didn't miss the way the students around kept glancing at me.
Why did he do that? Couldn't he just let it go? It wasn't that big of a deal. I was use to what people said about me and I could defend myself. I was confident in my body and though it hurt that people only saw me as a body that had been passed around, I could handle it. There was always going to be rumors, whether I liked it or not. I learned it the hard way.
I didn't fake it. I faced it. I dealt with it because that's the way life worked. It knocks you down but it was your job to get back up and stand taller. Ignore it or embrace it. I embraced it because I knew who I was and nobody could tell me different. I've come along way just to sit and cry about what people thought about me. Yesterday was a set back. It wouldn't happen again and I wouldn't let my emotions get the best of me again.
"Eris." I hear the teacher call out to me.
My eyes snap up to meet his, "You okay?" He asks, his eyes swimming with concern.
I bite my lip, "Yeah." I lie.
His brows furrow as he steps closer to my desk, "Go take a breather and come back whenever you're ready." He tells me, his voice quiet so nobody listens in.
"No it's okay-" I go to argue.
"Please, I insist. It's no problem really, I understand. We all have bad days.." He smiles reassuringly before helping me up and giving my shoulder a quick squeeze as I let out a small thank you before dashing out the doors with my head down.
When I enter the halls, guilt suddenly etches at the corners of my chest as I remember the way I spoke to Loki yesterday. I treated him like shit yesterday and he still went out of his way to defend me. I was just so upset with everything going on in my life. My heart ached a little harder at the thought of my mom and little brother. They were all I thought about yesterday, it was a bad day. My father had bashed me the night before and when I got to school another student had made fun of my culture.
We all had bad days but that didn't give me the right to take it out on people. It just had finally hit me that I was actually alone and it hurt even more to know that Loki would never return my feelings. I couldn't just be friends with Loki without wanting him to kiss the hell out of me.
A long sigh escapes me as I lean against the wall, resting my head against it as I shut my eyes. I just wanted the world to pause for a moment so I could catch my breath. I just wanted to breathe without fighting. It felt like I was battling every single second of my life and it was exhausting.
"Just breathe, baby. Don't cry, I've got you." My mother's voice ringing through my head as I think about her. She wasn't here to hold me or tell me to breathe. She wasn't here to tell me she loved me or chase off the nightmares I had about her and Amir. How guilty I felt about what happened to both of them. I could've saved them but I didn't.
