|2nd Book in The Devil May Care Series|
They're more alike than they think.
At war with himself, Loki struggles to get his life on track. He struggles with manic depression-in other words, bipolar. He feels alone, trapped in his own mind as he refus...
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"I hate you."
She didn't mean it.
"No, I don't."
She didn't.
"But I wish I did."
Fuck. That hurt, it hurt so much.
"What's wrong with me, Loki?"
Nothing. I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout it because she was perfect. Everything about her was beautiful, inside and out.
"Why don't you want me?"
Those words had rendered me speechless. Her words broke me, hit me to the core. I remember asking those same words to my mom and she screamed at me.
"Why don't you want me, Ma?" I ask quietly, breathless after the beating she just put me through. It was always just me. Never Lumiere. Never Lucas. Never LeRoy. Just me. I was the half brother. The unwanted son. The half brother. "Why do you hate me so much?" I cried, tears running down my cheeks as I stared up at her.
"Shutup!" She screamed, her fits of rage always directed towards me. "It's your fault our family is so fucked up!" She shoves me away from her, "Fuck! I hate you." She cries out, tears of her own fall as she stares back me.
That was the problem. Everytime she stared at me, she saw herself and the man she cheated on my father with. She hated me because she knew my father couldn't even stand the thought of her after finding out I wasn't his. She hated me because she ruined her own family.
I didn't fucking care about what she thought anymore, she was a shitty mother anyways.
I did care about what Eris thought though and when those words fell out her mouth, it killed me because I never wanted her to feel like that. I was just afraid of what could happen if she pissed me off or did something I didn't like. Sometimes my anger got out of hand and I could never forgive myself if I hurt her, that's why I keep my distance.
That's why I avoid her when she tries to pursue me further because she'd never be happy.
"Hey." I mutter, grabbing hold of Azrael's shoulder who walks beside me as she speaks to Lucio with a wide smile. Sometimes I forget what it looks like to see her smile, especially since she doesn't do it often. It feels like huge weight lifting off my shoulders since she and her brother have been staying with us, easing all my worries about her being in danger.
She turns to me with curious eyes, her curls untamed on top of her head, "What is it?" She asks.
I hesitate, "Have you spoken to Eris?" I ask, watching as her smile drops.
She shakes her head, "She won't answer any of my calls." She informs, "I'm worried about her. Do you think everything is okay at home?" She asks, looking up at me with careful eyes.
