Dear, Insecurity//Romangst//Prinxiety [IN PROGRESS]

Past Curfew

"Why are you late?"

Roman thought he was about to shatter into a million pieces.

"I- I didn't mean to, I tried to get back sooner, just- I was with Remus for-"

"Remus?!" His father's face was red. He stared down at Roman.

Roman hated when his father stared at him. He had such power in only that look on his face. It made him feel like he was worth no more than a squashed beetle.

"Oh! Did- did I say Re-Remus? No, no, no- I meant-"

"Shut up." His father raised his hand up. Everything froze.

Everything.

Roman was panicked.
Fight, flight, or freeze?
His body chose some other option.

His knees bent like they weren't meant to hold his weight. He fell to the floor and sheltered his head.

He still felt the blows.
His shelter of arms didn't stay put.

Why was his father so angry?
Why was he always so angry?
Why did he do all of this?
And why did he always get away with it?

Roman pulled himself up off of the floor about ten minutes later.
It really only lasted like ten seconds, but he just left himself on the floor after.

He was sore, again.
Roman just laid down on his bed and sighed.

He just lay there, silent.
He cried a bit, but he fell asleep pretty quick.

~~~

He awoke again on Sunday morning.

"Unfortunate," He sighed and looked at his window.

He saw a bird on a branch just outside his window. A chickadee.

He ached as he pulled himself to the window and opened it.
That chickadee was special to him. They shared snacks.

He pulled a pack of trail mix out from his stash and put it out for the bird, throwing away the wrapper.

"You can have all of it today, fisticuffs. I'm not hungry." Roman slowly closed the window and walked into his bathroom.

His reflection stared at him from the mirror. It looked sadly at its double across the sink.
Roman stared back at it for maybe twenty seconds before he pulled his makeup out and smudged it across his face.

The subtle darker brown or purple marks on his face he found as too noticeable. He wasn't entirely sure which were from falling up the stairs and which weren't.

He went downstairs and found a note on the counter. His father was out again.

He grabbed the house phone and dialed Remus's number. He hoped his brother still had the same number. This was what he remembered.

He smiled slightly when a familiar high-pitched voice responded.

"Remus Duke, who is this?"

"I'm glad you picked up." A loud gasp erupted from the other line.

"Roman! Hellooo!" Remus cheered. "How are you on the phone? I thought you weren't allowed."

"I'm... not." He fiddled with his fingers and poked at his cuticles.

"Well then what are you doing?!" Remus sounded genuinely worried. "I know how that man is, if you get caught, he--"

"He's not home," Roman shrugged to himself. "He's off doing whatever he does."

"......when is he supposed to be home?" Remus asked in a new tone.

"Midnight, so probably actually eleven-thirty." Remus hummed.

"I know it's risky, but what if we hung out?" Remus asked, Roman could picture him at that moment.

He could almost see his brother, in his favorite green sweater, leaning on his bed and smiling into his phone.
Roman could picture Remus with his messy hair and mustache sticker about to fall of.

"We can... try." Remus cheered and Roman smiled softly, picturing his brother standing up and jumping or something.

"Yes! Brother Bear, I'll be there in ten!" Roman set the phone down after Remis hung up and slowly walked out the door and to the gate.

Everything was still sore, but he made it.

Roman sat down just outside the gate. He closed his eyes and let his mind wander when a voice broke his mocked concentration.

"Princey? Man, you're everywhere." Roman didn't think before he responded.

"Are you sure you're not following me, Goth IHOP?" He grimaced at himself after he said that.

I need to stop doing that. He's gonna hate me.

"Nope, I'm totally following you. Definitely." Virgil flopped down on the ground in front of Roman, like he always did at lunch. "What'cha doing?"

"Sorry," Roman mumbled it a second too late because it was almost like he responded to Virgil's question all weird. "For the name thing, it was rude." He clarified.

"Oh c'mon Romano," Virgil smiled "Lighten up a little, it's fine."

"No, it's not!" Roman didn't mean to be loud. "It's just- you're actually making an effort to speak with- to know me, and I'm just treating you like the other people who don't give me the time of day. That isn't fair!"

Roman didn't realize he was shaking again until he looked back up and saw how concerned Virgil seemed.

Virgil looked almost puzzled. He looked deep in thought.

"Roman, I promise, it's okay," Virgil set a hand on his shoulder. "I talk to you because I want to. Almost nothing you could say to me or call me would change that.

Roman tried to believe him.
He tried.

He still couldn't manage to convince himself that the emo was motivated by anything other than pity.

Nobody cares about Roman Prince.

Right..?