Dear, Insecurity//Romangst//Prinxiety [IN PROGRESS]

Virgil's House

While Roman walked, another figure became apparent farter in front of him.

They were running in his direction.

After contemplating for maybe ten seconds it occurred to him who it was.

Virgil.

Roman chuckled to himself as the emo came closer, stumbling to a stop in front of Roman, visibly out of breath.

"Sorry," Virgil giggled a bit, trying to catch his breath. "I was gonna try to meet you outside your place but I got caught up."

"Close enough," Roman laughed quietly.

Virgil nodded and the two started walking to Virgil's house.

"So... it worked?" Roman nodded.

"I think he's just tired of dealing with me and my bullshit," Roman sighed. "But I mean- at least he acknowledges that I exist, huh?" Virgil stuffed his hands in the pocket of his patchy hoodie.

"Sometimes that's not the better option." Roman shrugged.

When they'd arrived at Virgil's house, Abby was the first to greet them. She just waved and tucked herself back into the kitchen.

"Hey, Mapa," Virgil called to Abby. "We'll be in my room, tell Mom when she gets back."

Abby hummed and gave him a thumbs up.

Roman stood there timidly for a moment before Virgil took his hand and pulled him into the hallway, then to his room.

Virgil pushed a few things off the bed and sat down.

"Sorry, it's somehow messier than it was the first time you came here-," Virgil patted the space on the bed next to him. "You can sit down, Princey, I'm not gonna bite you."

Roman quietly sat down beside Virgil.

"We don't have to talk now, I get it if you wanna try doing something more fun first." Virgil offered. Roman looked to Virgil, then around the room.

"No, I think I'm ready," Roman didn't entirely believe what he just said. Virgil just nodded. Roman clicked his heels together. "Where exactly do I start?"

Virgil thought for a moment.

"Wanna start with why you were actually wearing makeup..?" Roman's stomach twisted into a knot. He fiddled with his hands.

"Uh..." Roman tried to find the right words. "Well, I brought more makeup in my pocket, so... do you have any tissues?" Virgil reached over to a nightstand and handed Roman the tissues.

Roman pulled out one of the tissues and stared at it for a minute. He slowly took a breath and exhaled, his entire soul felt like it was about to seep out of his face and soak into the tissue.
He brought the tissue up and rubbed his face in an attempt to clean it off.

He scrunched up the tissue and set it down beside himself.

He felt so... helpless.
Maybe not quite helpless, of course, the help was sitting right beside him.
But he felt so exposed now, something so hidden, that he's made countless efforts to make unseen.
All his cards were on the table right now.

Roman glanced at Virgil.

Virgil just kind of... stared.

Roman suddenly felt all... weird. He covered his face with his hands and propped himself up with his elbows on his knees.

"I'm sorry," He blurted. "I know they look bad, they probably look even worse to you, fuck. I'm sorry." Roman's eyes got teary behind his hands. He wasn't even really sure why he felt ashamed like this. "You could hate me right now if you wanted to, it's gotta be partially my fault anyway, I..." A hand was set on his shoulder.
Roman turned and looked up, meeting eyes with Virgil.

"Roman, please don't be sorry right now," Virgil had the same kind of worried look that Roman had seen before. It was a little different this time, though. It was more serious. Virgil's eyes were almost glassy. Was he about to cry? "Bruises or makeup, you'll never look awful, okay?"

Roman hesitated on a response.

"Um-... yeah. Yeah, okay." Virgil tried to smile.

"And this isn't your fault at all. You are so fucking strong for putting up with this." Roman shook his head a little.

"But- I didn't--I don't fight it! I never do anything, I didn't even try to get help, Virgil! I have to be somewhat at fault if I don't fight at a-"

"Roman, you do fight," Virgil exclaimed, tightening his grip on Roman's shoulder slightly. "You're already going through it, so you're fighting. You're telling me this right now, that is fighting. You've been fighting this whole time, Roman, and you're fucking killing it." 

Roman sat there silently for a moment. A few tears slipped down his face. Virgil pulled him into a hug and Roman cried like that for a bit longer until he could compose himself enough to sit back up.

"So, these are from him?" Virgil's head tilted slightly. His hand was still on Roman's shoulder.

"Well, I fell up the stairs, there might be-" Virgil cut him off, it wasn't in an awfully bad way, though. It was probably for the better, really. Roman almost subconsciously distracted the conversation.

"But are there some from him?" Roman just slowly nodded. Virgil took a deep breath. "Okay... can I tell someone?"

Roman's heart leaped into his head. He felt his hands start to shake.

"Virgil, I don't- I don't know if I can do that." Virgil glanced down at Roman's shaking hands and slowly removed his hand from Roman's shoulder.

"Roman, I know that's a huge step out of your comfort zone, but it's gonna make it a lot easier in the long run." Roman's hands continued to shake, more so now.

"But what if-" Roman was cut off by a random inhale

"Roman..." Virgil gently grabbed one of Roman's hands.

"When he-" Roman was crying, he hated that he was crying in front of Virgil.
He shouldn't have to deal with me like this.

"Princey, you worry too much," Virgil continued to hold Roman's hand as he tried to help Roman calm down. "If it would be less scary, we could just tell one of my moms?" Roman's hand still shook.

Virgil sat there for another ten seconds before the tone of his voice changed slightly.

"Hey, what's the first color of the rainbow?" That really threw everything off the table.

"Why are you asking me that right no-"

"Just answer the question-."

"It's red-." Virgil nodded.

"The second color?" Roman felt his shoulders relax ever so slightly.

"Orange." Virgil gave him a small smile.

"Yeah, now the third." Roman felt the panic slowly wafting away.

"Yellow." Virgil nodded again, grabbing Roman's hand.

"And the fourth?"

"We can stop now, Virge. It worked-."

"No. We're finishing the rainbow."

"Okay, Gerard-gay." Virgil laughed quietly. "Green, blue, purple."

"You forgot indigo-"

"Oh shut the fuck up-"

"Of all people, I thought you'd remember indigo, Princey-" The two laughed.

Why do I cry writing my own book?-
That's not fair-
Wtf----

This chapter was quite long-- oops----

Also- calling Abby "Mapa" is the best decision I think I've ever made-
I found out it was a parent name that people used and I thought it was so cute--