The Deadliest Generation: The Maze Of Monsters

River's Confessions

Author's Note: And here it is! The moment you've all been waiting for... you find out what the actual heck is up with River.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of blood and injuries (scabs, scars, burns, bruises, rotting flesh.) and cannabilism.

River was now slumped in the chair Thomas had previously been in, while Thomas himself sat on a stool between Newt and Teresa. 

Jack stood behind River, his hand hovering protectively over the younger boys shoulder.

"Right," Alby said, "Get on with it."

Minho turned to Thomas and very subtly rolled his eyes. 

River took a deep breath in and screwed his hands up on his jeans. "So, I'm guessing Thomas told you that we lived in a facility, right?" 

There was collective nodding around the room, and River said, "Right. Okay. So, there were girls at the facility, don't ask me why, I don't know, but there were. Where they are now, I also don't know. I was sold by my parents to go to the facility when I was around seven. I dreamed of that, but not that much." River paused, then shakily continued, "my sister-"

"Sister?!" Alby exclaimed, looking incredulous, "you have a sister?!"

"Yes," River said in an exasperated tone of voice. "anyway, I was roomed with my sister and around six other girls."

"Wait, wait, wait, hold up." Minho said, raising his eyebrows. "You roomed with girls? How did you get away with that?"

River looked around the room, biting his lip, then glanced at Jack, who nodded at him to continue, eyes wide. He then looked at Teresa. Thomas span around her, confused. 

Teresa ignored Thomas, then nodded encouragingly at River.

River looked down again, and said, "I'm a guy, right, okay? I'm definitely a guy. ...I just... wasn't born as a guy. I was born as a girl."

"What-" Alby's confusion was cut off by Newt saying, "Riv, why didn't you say anything?" 

Thomas was confused. His first reaction was to say, to make sense of what River had just explained was, "So... you're transgender? Or, you know, trans?"

River looked at Thomas in utter relief, and confirmed, "Yeah, Thomas, I'm trans. Female to male to be exact." 

Thomas nodded slowly, then Chuck piped up, "when did you realise?"

River looked thoughtful. "I don't really remember much of my age in the dreams. That part is just mainly guesswork. Well... I never disliked the idea of being a guy, but it took me years to realise. When I was eight, I think. I told my roommates and sister when I was... probably nine? They were fine with it, my sister took it well. They all helped me with my first haircut which were all done really sloppily for a few years." River smiled. "Those were in the happier dreams. The facility found out and only supported my wishes when I turned twelve."

"When I started puberty, I hated everything. I knew I should not have been in this body whatsoever, and I should be going through the male puberty. I wore like five sports bras to compress my chest after Teresa did some research for me and discovered that wrapping my chest in bandages to compress it wasn't a great idea, and I could crack  a rib." Teresa smiled at her name, and Thomas listened, fascinated. He'd never known this much about trans people and how life was for them. 

"Wait, Riv, quick question," Frypan said, sticking his hand into the air. 

River smiled, "Fire away, Fry."

Frypan put his hand down. "If you had to compress your chest all those years ago, how come none of us noticed the outline of something under your shirt? Like I know we're stupid but we're not that stupid."