𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕼𝖚𝖊𝖊𝖓'𝖘 𝕷𝖎𝖔𝖓: 𝕯𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖎𝖕𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖉

Ash and Bone

TW: A mental breakdown, self-loathing, Baron Kelvin's pedophiliac behavior, PTSD, blood, gunshots, needles, stabbing, several murders (one is described in heavy detail), mentions of lobotomies/brainwashing and assorted weaponry

"It all began on that day five years ago," The Baron started his disturbing and disgusting tale of how he became obsessed with the Phantomhives. His voice faded into background noise, buzzing in one of Y/N's ears and out the other. All she could do was take in the room before her. It was haunting. The chandelier that hung above the alter cast a foreboding, golden glow down onto the stone floors, pews and stairs that surrounded them. The room made her feel trapped. She could only begin to imagine how it made Ciel feel. It was where one of the worst experiences of his life had taken place, a place he summoned a demon to escape... And now he was being forced to stand in a perfect replica of the room that stole everything from him.

A few stray words and phrases stuck in Y/N's head as the Baron rattled on. Things like "they were special," "I wanted to know," "the truth," "aristocrats of evil," and "I could not help but yearn," rang through her ears like gunshots. Every word hurt her in a way she didn't understand. His speech continued to pierce her. "Unforgivable," "never be granted," and "wrapped in thorns," all felt like pricks of needles on her skin. It was when the Baron shouted out "Nooo-" during his narration did Y/N understand why she hurt. "Because this was all avoidable..." If she had asked Sebastian to send her here by herself she could've ambushed everyone. She could've shot everyone dead and Ciel would never have had to be here. She could've taken care of all of this so he wouldn't have too. That was supposed to be her job... And she failed miserably. Her lips trembled and her eyes watered as she realized the true depth of her failure. "I should've thought ahead... Instead I became distracted by Agni and Soma, like a fool..."

The one time she had all the answers and she neglected to use them. She wanted to fall to her knees and beg for forgiveness. "Why hadn't I felt this way with Jack the Ripper?" Y/N asked herself as she swallowed back her gasps and tears. "Because you didn't know him," answered the voice in the back of her mind. "Now you do. This is the price for playing this game. And every game has rules, you know that. You couldn't come here earlier because that would break the rules." Y/N wanted to rip her hair out, "What game? There are no rules!" She screamed into her own mind. "Yes there are. There are always rules. You can't do everything for him." Y/N curled her hands into fists. She was arguing with her own mind, and she was still losing. She was right, there were rules. She would have to explain everything she did if even just one little act seemed wrong. She had already tested her luck enough with Agni and her promises, she was skating on thin ice as it was. She needed to walk the fine line between real and acting if she wanted to be able to stay. "I hate this game..."

The Baron had continued on his long-winded, insane, deranged rant. Clearly he hadn't noticed the distress his audience was experiencing. Ciel was enraged and fighting back all the memories from his past and Y/N was fighting her own subconscious harder than she had fought Grelle Sutcliff or Madam Red. "I still cannot forget the pain I felt then. I who had thrown away everything for you, was the one who could not see you." Y/N felt herself refocusing on the Baron and Ciel. She would not fail this time. Her fingers curled even tighter about the handle of her blade. Knuckles turning pale against it's smooth metal. "I wondered why fate kept us apart so..." Kelvin turned in his chair to look Ciel in the eyes. It was disgusting. "And then that day... The lot of them disappeared. Not a one was left. It was you, wasn't it? Hm, Earl?" The Baron turned his chair so he might face Ciel completely in his insanity. "You did them all a favor and killed them all," He wailed in awe. "Ahh. How I envy them! One couldn't ask for a more beauteous final moment, bidding farewell to life with the cold moon attending one's death bed." Kelvin was shaking, tears of excitement in his eyes. He couldn't die soon enough. "Please! Let me join their ranks!" The Baron threw his arms out from his sides, giving Ciel and Y/N both clear shots to his heart. Though he only intended for Ciel to pull the trigger. "This is all as it was that day! Look! I've got everything ready-the venue for the ritual, the lambs, and last but not least... You, my dear Earl!"