When Love Lasts | Doah

Different Drug

Friday January 7 2022, 8:23 a.m

As Noah handed Dixie his phone she started shaking profusely. She didn't know how to react? Everything was happening so quickly. For so many years she had lived with the pain of not knowing what happened to her parents and now suddenly someone claimed that their dad had killed them. She was lost for words.

When she finished reading she let out the most horrific scream. She ran upstairs crying, barely able to climb the stairs. She was so confused. She didn't know which emotion to show, which emotion to feel. 

She locked herself in her bathroom and fell to the floor. She cried until she couldn't breathe. She pulled her hair to the point where she thought she would go bald. Her throat was so dry and she didn't feel anything anymore. It was as if she was numb. What had happened to her? She had once been a happy, cheerful girl with no problems and the ideal life. She was not even recognizable. If someone last saw her in 3rd grade they wouldn't know who she was. 

She saw herself as a drug addict. Except she was addicted to sadness. Sadness affected her the same way drugs affected people. Whenever she felt happy her ''drug'' found her. Sadness was her drug. A different drug. She had already accepted that she couldn't get away from it. She had accepted that years ago. All she had to do now was learn how to be sad and live with it. She needed to learn how to like being sad. And as scary as it sounds, she might have learnt already.

She wanted to stop crying but she couldn't. The scene was playing clearly in her head. Again and Again. Every time she heard that terrifying gunshot in her head she would scream. It was too much for her. What was wrong with her? Why was this happening? Why her? 

Then she heard a knock at the door. She didn't want to do anything. She wanted to lock her emotions up and never let  them out. She wanted to hide them. She wanted everyone to think she was happy. She wanted to run far away from her emotions. They were out of control.

The knocking sounded like more gunshots and she couldn't take it anymore. She let out another scream before completely passing out. 

Why Her?

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Noah walked into the bathroom after unlocking the door with the help of some of the guards. He slowly went in and saw her passed out on the floor. It had been at least 2 hours since she had ran upstairs. Noah gave her time to herself before coming to check on her. 

Her screams hit Noah in the chest. He remembered her happy face earlier that day when she was on the bench. Knowing that he took that happiness away from her hurt him. Maybe more than it should have. 

He saw her on the floor, he really thought she was gone. He called the medical staff to check on her and thankfully, her heart was beating, and she was breathing. He sat on her bed next to her apologising to the passed-out girl next to him. It was his fault. 

Maybe just dying would have bought her less pain than this. Maybe, just maybe she would've been more grateful if he had just let her die. At least she would've died peacefully.

Would she ever forgive him? Was she afraid of him? Did she actually want to know what happened to her parents or did she just want to get things over with?

Was he capable of helping her? Was he capable of keeping her safe? Would he get through this? 

Would she get through this? 

He wanted to hold her hand, look into her eyes and tell her he was with her. He wanted her to know it would be fine. He needed her to know it would be fine.

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I wanted to make this chapter longer but if I did it would be really abrupt. I'll try to update again today. Also half way to 1k reads!!! Thank you guys <3

Word Count: 665