When Love Lasts | Doah

Platonic

Sunday 16th October 2022, 13:15 p.m

Thoughts filled up Dixie's head, but the feeling of anger and hatred was slowly taking over. The feeling of betrayal because all this time she had thought he understood her, but it all crashed down because clearly, he didn't. Clearly, he didn't give a single fuck about Dixie or anyone else.

All her life she had let people walk all over her because she needed to make herself the girl she always wanted to be, but she wasn't the girl she wanted to be, and she never would be. Now, she had to be the person she needed to be because wants weren't important right now.

Anger isn't a good emotion, but it isn't one that needs to be suppressed either. She had always held grudges, but it was time to finally let one of them out. She walked towards Noah's room and went it without knocking, if he didn't have respect for her, she didn't need to have respect for him. He sat on his desk chair aggressively typing on his computer as if he wasn't just an ass to the person he kidnapped. His head jolted up when he heard the door bang against the white wall behind it.

"The fuck was that?", he yelled.

"It was exactly what you deserve you fucking ass", she huffed.

"Who the fuck do you-", he said before Dixie stopped him "Shut up. Today I'm going to speak because I have lost all respect, I had for you. You're going to sit here and let me state every way you have been an asshole to me the whole time I was here. First of all, you need to man up and realize that this is all your god damn fault, and you can't blame anyone for this but yourself."

"You think I don't already know that? I haven't gone a single day without thinking of how bad I've treated you and how miserable your life has become." He said as he tried not to give away exactly how he felt because even this was too much for him. He wasn't ready for Dixie to see him in his most vulnerable state.

Dixie sighed and leaned against the door putting her hand on her face. She knew, she knew what he was going through but she couldn't keep putting herself second. She was done with being selfless and feeling that anything she did for herself was a selfish act. This would go much faster if they started working together rather than apart.

"I know Noah but-"

"No Dixie. You don't know!" Noah said interrupting Dixie. And it was true, if she knew, she wouldn't have attacked him like this but right now both of them were in the wrong and they were stuck in this constant loop of arguments.

"You're right." Dixie sighed. "But don't act like you understand either because you don't." She said defensively.

Noah looked down and tried not to let the tears flow. He had messed up so bad, but his emotions were too overwhelming. His head was in the wrong place, and he didn't know how to get it out. Dixie had a loving family and a friend that would clearly do anything for her, but Noah never had and never has had anyone. He didn't know the feeling of love but that was what he needed. He needed someone to want him to get better, to encourage him to get better, but there was no such person.

"I- I'm sorry- I- I can't-" he said before quickly getting up and rushing to the bathroom. "Noah wait!" Dixie yelled grabbing his arm.

Noah needed to get away from Dixie before he broke. Before he showed her that behind this tough and muscular guy was a broken and miserable one. He lightly pulled his arm away, not facing Dixie because yes, he was crying. "Dixie no, please just let me-" he didn't get to finish his sentence before Dixie turned his face to face her. Her face dropped in pity as she saw him crying. He quickly wiped his tears trying to face the other way, but Dixie's hand remained on his face. "Dixie, I don't-" Dixie pulled him into a hug before he could say anything else. Noah didn't know how to react because no one had ever showed any type of affection towards him no one had ever showed him they cared.

"I know you're not ready, but I swear whenever you need to talk, I'm right here and I'm so sorry for everything that has happened. I know this is hard."

That was all he needed, to know that someone was there for him when he needed to talk and that it wasn't just a therapist who was getting paid to do it. It was someone who genuinely cared and was worried.

After a moment Noah finally reciprocated the hug, wrapping his arms around Dixies back, putting his head on her shoulder and closing his eyes. "I- I'm sorry for everything" Noah whispered, his words coming out as a mumble because of Dixies shirt, but she knew what he had said and felt horrible that he thought he needed to apologize after all of that. "No Noah, I'm sorry"

They stayed in that position for over ten minutes, none of them moving away since the position felt so right. The way Dixie's body fit perfectly into Noah's and Noah's body fit perfectly into Dixie's. It felt like the final piece of a puzzle was finally put in. It seemed so... perfect.

"Are you tired?", Dixie asked quietly. It took a moment for Noah to respond since neither of them had spoken in so long. "Mhm" he replied. Dixie finally pulled away, but she immediately felt weird. "You should get to bed then" Dixie said before giving him a sweet smile and walking towards the door.

"Can you... never mind actually", Noah said contemplating whether or not to say what was on his mind. Dixie was hoping he would say what she thought he would, but the chances were slim. Dixie looked back at him encouraging him to go on. "It's fine, you can ask me anything", Dixie said. "Stay" was all Noah said and it was all he needed to say before Dixie walked back to him and put her hand under his chin. "Of course, I can" she smiled "I just need to get changed first"

- - -

It was now a couple of hours later and they lay in Noah's bed on their phones. "Dix..." Noah wanted to ask her this but wondered if this would put a barrier between them once again. That was the last thing he wanted to happen after today had ended in such a good note. "Mhm" Dixie said distracted on her phone. "You remember when the thing happened in your room." Noah continued "Yeah, I do... why? What's up?", Dixie replied. "Do you also remember how we felt afterwards? How we didn't know what we were? I hate that do this right now but seriously what the hell are we?" Noah let out.

"I would love to say we're friends but both of us know that's not true. Friends don't do what we did today or the other day. Friends don't sacrifice their whole life for each other like that. And I don't know about you but I for sure felt something today and as embarrassing and as weird as it is to admit this to anyone, I feel like we've crossed the bridge of getting embarrassed in-front of each other. Basically, I think we're more than friends but whatever helps you sleep at night."

That's where Dixie ended it. She shut off the lamp and put her phone away. Now it was up to Noah to decide. Their future now depended on him.

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AHHHH HEYYY!!!

I haven't updated in so fricking long but I'm so happy to be back. Honestly, I thought I'd quit and just delete the book and pretend it never happened but I'm glad I didn't. A little update on my life just so you guys know what's going on: I changed schools and in general a lot has been going on and I'm just trying to find myself in this weird world. Also, it was my birthday a few days ago and that was really fun but yeah, I guess that's all. I love you guys and I hope y'all are doing amazing, take care of yourselves and hopefully I'll update soon!

Word Count: 1292