When Love Lasts | Doah

Never Enough

Saturday January 8 2022, 12:15 p.m

Dixie's POV:

By the time I regained consciousness it was already the next day. Slowly, everything that had happened yesterday came back to me and to be honest, it still hurt just as much. I wanted to cry but nothing came out. All my tears had been used up. I was so helpless I couldn't even cry.

I got ready in hopes of making this situation seem as normal as possible. I then went downstairs to the kitchen but I was stopped by a rude looking lady probably in her early 50's. She looked extremely confused when she saw me, I was confused to see her too as no one was in the house yesterday. 

''How did you get in here?'', she asked raising an eyebrow.

''I came here with Noah'', I said.

''Well I can't let you out of sight until Mr. Beck confirms he knows you, this is safety protocol. Sit on the couch over there and don't move or else I'll have to call security.'', she said sternly.

I looked at her hoping she was joking but her serious look remained. I rolled my eyes and sat on the couch taking my phone out to call Noah only to realise I didn't have his number. I wondered why he would just leave me, alone, in this house that I barely knew. He was such an asshole for abandoning me right after kidnapping me. How did I always end up in these situations?

I sat there impatiently waiting for him to come back. I was going to give him a piece of my mind. Who did he think he was to retire from this situation? And he didn't even have the time to tell his fucking servants that I was here? You would think he planned this out... clearly he didn't. A seven year old would've done better. 

You know what, maybe I wasn't the strong, independent woman I was trying to be. Maybe I was just scared of loosing. Loosing my will, my will to live, my will to continue living in my fucked up life that was full of tragedy every path I took. Maybe I should give up and maybe I will, but not before I keep my promise, the promise I made when I was only 10. 

''I will not give up until mom and dad get justice'' that was the only thing keeping me going. I said it to Charli. She has been the only one helping me even the slightest throughout this. 

Everyone felt pain by mom and dad passing but no one's pain can compare to mine. No one's pain will compare to the pain of that innocent little girl staring at the corpse of her lifeless parents. The little girl who thought it was a joke, wished it was a joke. Charli lost her parents too but she didn't see blood pour out of their chest, she didn't see them fighting to live, she didn't see them take their last breath. 

I remember having to tell a police officer what had happened. I didn't even know what was going on. The officer looked sorry for me. Sorry for the girl that still had hope, even after their pulse had stopped. Everyone was shocked as to why I was still alive. They thought I would've been killed with them. Some even went as far as to accuse me for doing it. I was only 9.

Having to go to school everyday and getting harassed by people who didn't know what had happened. People who didn't even know me! I had to hide my tears while they were desperate for answers, answers that I didn't even have. I had to live through that for ages. I don't know how I got through it. If I was put in that situation now I would have crumbled.

All of it made me realise one thing. No one truly loves you, everyone likes you for a reason. Everyone will achieve their goals and leave you. You can trust no one. Everyone has a reason and you are not their reason. You will never be what they want. You will never be enough.

I live by that now. As scary as it is everyone will leave you one day. My day already came and now everyone has left me. I'm alone fighting this crazy world. Just remember that one day you will be alone too. Those friends that you cared for will leave. Your parents who you gave your whole heart to will leave. And that stupid boyfriend or husband that had such great impact on your life will leave!

After going through all of that shit, I sit here in this guys mansion with his grumpy ass helper that won't let me out of her sight because it's ''safety protocol''. He can die for all I care. He has DNA from that devil anyway.

My life is not worth living. 

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IM BACK!

Obviously whatever is said in this chapter is fake! People do love you and not everyone is using you. That's just her view of life because she's been through a lot. Don't take it seriously.

Word Count: 832