Ed Sheeran X Reader

Revenge is best served with a in a Feet and Knuckles!

You lean back and look at Mark and Doug. 

"Hey, Mark. How's it going?" 

"Not too good."

You tell your guards to bring them to the holding cells at Dead Man's barn.

"Hey, Doug." 

"Not too good either." 

You walk away, leaving the guards to bring Mark and Doug to the holding cells.

You go to Mark's cell.

Mark is lying on his cot, covers up to his nose. 

"How's it going, Mark?" 

"Pretty bloody awful." 

"Yeah, I bet." 

"Do you know who I am?" 

"Of course I do. You're Mark Smith, formerly of Rock and Roll Suicide. You were a big star in the '90s. Got a bit lost following a scandal. Got a bit paranoid either. Did some bad stuff. Got clean and decided to turn your life around. Now you're back out there on the road, playing small gigs. Kind of a sad end to your career." 

"What are you talking about? I'm a rock star. I have a big following."

You say "Well, not after I smash your face into pieces."

"Hey!" You lunge at Mark, who dodges out of the way, then grabs your neck and tries to choke you. 

You punch Mark in the face, snapping his nose.

You say "I will kill all of Rock and roll suicide!"

"You can't kill me, you daft Irish mick!" You punch Mark again, knocking him out cold. 

"Holy shi--"

You say "Ed Sheeran can't save you now."

You pick up a nearby shotgun, flipping open the chamber and pointing it at Mark's head. 

Mark begins to move slowly, shaking like a snowshoer. 

"You better pray--" 

You pull the trigger. 

The gun bucks. 

Mark's head explodes, showering you in blood, brains and hair. 

Mark's body collapses backwards, then falls over.

You say "Now for Doug."

You point the shotgun at Doug's head. 

"You know who I am--" 

You pull the trigger. The gun clicks uselessly.

You say "Well, guess we'll settle this like men."

You grab the shotgun, holding it to Doug's head and pulling the trigger. 

The gun clicks. 

You nod tightly, staring at Doug's head. 

You can't make the gun work.

You engage in hand-to-hand combat.

You grab a large hammer, heft it in your hands and look at the terrified and cringing Doug. "Come on, big guy. Fight back." 

You swing the hammer at Doug's head. 

He ducks, the hammer connecting with the side of his head, knocking him out cold.

You say "Guards, escort Doug to the torture chamber"

The three other guards nod, grabbing a log and flinging it at Doug. 

You watch as Doug is hurled against a wall, before the guards begin to beat him wildly with the thick end of the log.