Ed Sheeran X Reader

Alice Springs

You say "Is Doug still alive?"

"He's at the Dead Man's Barn," a soldier replies.
You say "Being tortured?"

"No, he's at the Barn," the soldier says. 

"The Black Moranth are savages," you say.

"The Black Moranth are patriots," the Aussie says.

You say "Can I have a nice long chat with Kim Jong Un?"

The Black Moranth laugh. 

"You're a lucky son of a gun, aren't you? You'll get to chat with Kim Jong Un in a few weeks when he comes to see you." 

The Aussie officer walks away. 

"You should ask for leniency," the Black Moranth suggests. 

"I'll see what I can do," the officer replies. 

You are in a large room with several bunk beds. 

"You can keep your bed, but you'll have to share it with Joseph."

You say "Who's Joseph?"

"Oh, I'll introduce you to him later. Right now, we're going to be taking you to meet some of the other prisoners." 

The Aussie officer escorts you around the facility and introduces you to the other prisoners. "This is Tom, he's a Catholic." 

"Hello, Tom." 

"Hello." 

"Don't 'hello' me, say 'good morning.'" 

"Good morning." 

"Now, that's better." 

"What are going to do with him?" the Aussie officer asks. 

"I'm going to test his loyalties. He's a deserter, I think," the Black Moranth says.

You say "You got this all wrong, Kim Jong Un betrayed ME.""I don't think so," the Black Moranth says, "Now, let's go." 

The Black Moranth leads you up a set of stairs. "Here we are," the Black Moranth says. 

You arrive at a room with several large television screens. The Black Moranth shows you the footage of your capture.

 "Look at how well we captured you!" one of the Black Moranth says. 

"This deserter is useless to us, let's kill him," another Black Moranth says.

You say "No no no no, I can be very useful!"

"He can be useful if he gives us information," a third Black Moranth says. 

"He doesn't know anything!"

You say "I can sing Feet and Knuckles!"

You're taken to a small room with several chairs. 

"Sit down," the Black Moranth says. 

"Now, I want you to sing Feet and Knuckles for us."

You start singing, and the Black Moranth laugh. 

"That's a good one," one of them says. You sing your heart out, and the Black Moranth laugh. "That was great!" 

"Now that we have a recording of you singing, we can play it at any time we want," a fourth Black Moranth says. 

"Yes, that's extremely useful, thank you," the Aussie officer says. 

"See, he's a good deserter," the Black Moranth says.