exhausted and confused, her room was a mess. walking aimlessly in the middle of the room, she sobbed and sobbed. what was she suppose to do anymore? becoming a portrayal of a fake movie dream, she was no longer who she wanted to be.
bumping into her bedside table, knocking over the picture frame sat on the edge. the glass shattering and the frame splitting in two as it fell and hit the floor with crackling and a thud. holding her arms across her chest as she hiccupped. kneeling down to touch the fallen photo.
she let herself become the one thing she swore not to be. a traitor. standing up, she struggled and wobbled as her knees were hurt from falling on the hardwood grounds. her sad room of a confused student.
she felt like she had been thrown around leaving her with nothing more than bruises around her exposed legs. she felt like a mess, she was a mess.
needing her meds and maybe a warm bath, she staggered across the room, she pushed herself up with one hand against the walls and furniture. struggling as she had lost strength from breaking down and not being able to stop. the type of pain where no matter how much you tried to stop, it kept pouring like a endlessly pitcher.
dizzy, she felt extremely dizzy as she walked. maybe it was because she was going to collapse any time now. falling accustom to her random blackouts and falling. often stumbling when she least expected it.
hearing a knock on the door, she didn't have the energy to call out. reaching out her hand, she held her head as the room began to spin slowly. "yeonseo i heard-" the door opened as she side glanced it. the other began to look in the room as her vision began to fuzz.
i feel sick was the last thing she thought before her eyes fluttered closed. her body pulled by gravity as she heard screaming and footsteps.
...
"YEONSEO"
the boy at been there for countless hours. waiting for status updates as he watched over his sister's unmoving body. the beeping of the heart monitor being his only tracker of time passing.
closing his eyes, he could feel his body become heavy. like it was telling him to rest and not worry about it. sharply inhaling, he could feel his heart pumping. he was so confused on how she didn't get to her meds in time. what could've happened if he didn't go to check up on her?
"i came here as fast as i could." the voice called as their breaths were unsteady. "beomgyu.." the older never used his full name for anything. this was serious. walking over, he hesitated for a moment before pulling the other into a hug. the vibration of his sobs as he sobbed into the others chest.
him hugging while standing up being a bit awkward. "it's okay sunbae, yeonseo is strong. she'll be fine." he spoke, rubbing his back as he sobbed. his cries being heartbreaking. they were assigned best friends at birth.
now they couldn't even think to live without the other. they did everything they could together while having separate lives. that's what made their bond so strong. turning slightly to like at the unmoving body, he sighed. he knew that whatever happened was serious.
the girl never passed out for too long. often having notes that she couldn't participate in certain gym activities or had to leave early. that was her life, someone who could only survive on her medication during the day but did nothing when it came to her night condition.
even if they weren't close, he knew that she would be okay. they had their fair share of shit talking on yeonjun so they had an understanding of each other. it was like being able to tell what your best friend was feeling in any situation. a silent understanding, looking at her, he knew she would be alright. her passing out longer just meant she was pushing herself harder.
...
laying in bed, she swung her legs in the air as she boredly did her assignments. rolling around, she grabbed her phone and rung her friend. humming as she waited for the last buzz. "cathrine?" the voice quietly spoke. the sound of the beeping in the background confused her. "where are you gyu?"
"i'm at the hospital with yeonjun sunbae." he hushly spoke. her eyes widening at his words. what? "is yeonjun and you alright?" she assumed with a panicked tone in her mouth.
"uh actually, i'm only here to support yeonjun. his twin collapsed a few hours ago. she'll be okay though, since the last time she passed out this long was when.. ah nevermind.." he paused his speech realizing he was exposing private information.
what? her heart raced and she felt like she wanted to kick herself. what was this feeling? regret? no. it couldn't be regret. "she still hasn't woken up so yeonjun sunbae has been stressed so he called me for help." he continued on to explain mindlessly as she shook from fear and confusion
biting the inside of her cheek, she squeezed her eyes closed as she waited for her to essentially wake up from this 'fake' dream. "cathrine?" she opened her eyes once again, not realizing how cold she had suddenly become from how scared she was. "oh yes, sorry. just felt a little bad to even say anything." a soft chuckle emitted from his side of the call
"you only feel bad?"
he knew didn't he. "haha what are you talking about," she tried to brush it off as he went silent and complied. "well i should-"
"beomgyu she's awake!" freezing, she gulped at the background noise as she waited. "i'll call you back."
...
she felt guilty now. she'd blown it out of proportion. but her life felt empty being with and without her. succumbing to the hell she brought herself in, the collapsing brought her to another plain old white room. windows littered each wall with different views from each one. her limbo.
give up yeonseo.
no,
there's no point anymore.
there is, stop lying to me.
speaking to the voice that haunted her limbo, she looked down to the white gown she was put into. her knees patched up with bandages from all those scrapes and bruises made from all her physical activity.
send me home.
jerking her head up, her eyes fluttered as her eyes darted around. overstimulated by her current surroundings. her body felt stiff as she coughed and struggled, slightly thrashing around the wires and tubes. "oh my god yeonseo, you're okay." the voice of her twin brother made her soften. not able to move too much, she waved a hand signaling him over.
hugging her as he sobbed into her, squeezing tight like she was afraid to let go. closing her eyes, she could feel herself want to cry as well for more reasons than one. opening her eyes, she held the others face in her hand as she looked over to see the long haired boy.
"gyugyu! why are you here." she smiled pushing aside her brother with the minimum strength she had. gasping, he refrained himself from hitting the female as the other laughed awkwardly. "yeonjun sunbae was being a baby so i came to support him." he grinned back to her as they shared mutual looks.
"please don't ever do that again," the small voice from her brother made her heart clench in pain and guilt. she did overdo this for nothing. the younger just wanted to flee from the shadow she was locked in.
...
posted : 1/30/22
words : 1282
