It's All Going to Be Okay

Sleep

I found my self lucid a couple of hours later. Staring at a wall, and not being able to sleep. I mean it's not like I don't want to, I just can't,  so I won't.

I was in that same room I woke up in the first time. The smell of gasoline and cologne was strong. It was leading straight to the man in front of me, sleeping peacefully. 

Felix decided to sleep on the couch in his room so I would feel more comfortable. I don't know if he knows about me and my sleeping problems but my friends sure do. They were proud of me when I did sleep, but they weren't there to tell me directly. Now that I can see them again they seem happy.

Stalfoe, the bear cub I was able to see again, was the one I was most excited to see. All he does is sleep and comfort me. He is the best, just don't tell the others. I tell him that all the time but he only looks at me with tired Grey eyes.

Today though I can't talk to him. I don't want to disrupt Felix sleeping. Instead I just pet his tiny head and wait until morning arrives. Stalfoe moves into a comforting position and I giggle at how cute he is. I am a bit jealous that he can sleep so peacefully. All I can do is think and the more I do the more I loose energy. I feel so weak by now but I can't ask anyone for help, they might just use me like all the other ones did. I do not want that.

Stretching , I look at the curtains and see the blue sky light. It's early morning so Felix should be getting up soon. I wake up stalfoe and kiss his forehead. He gets up and jumps off the bed, making his way under the bed.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I stretch out my legs and yawn. I get up and immediately feel my legs shake. My head starts spinning and I feel my self leaning to the side. I stop myself but I still loose my balance and fall back on the edge of the bed. I yawn and try getting back up. My legs feel normal again, just my eyes hurt.

Walking to the couch I feel a wave of electricity move up my body and I loose my balance again. This time I catch myself on the couch, waking up Felix. ' Oh no!!, I disrupted him' I cursed myself.

I got up a bit to fast as Felix was yawning and rubbing his eyes. I struggled to maintain my composure as I felt my head spinning.

" sorry, sorry Felix,  I didn't mean to wake you I just ... tripped, yeah I tripped. Sorry " I explained myself.

" it's okay darling, I needed to get up anyway!, got work to do." He said a bit too calm.

I nodded and watched him walk into the bathroom. I took the opportunity to get out of the room as quick as possible so he wouldn't worry about me. He can't see me like this, I'm too weak and I don't need the help or pity.

This sleep problem is worse than I thought. Is it just because I can't sleep? Or is it becuase of something mental? I need to find the answer to this.

Speedwalking to a private place, I ignore all of my friends and guards. Reaching another bedroom I peek inside. I don't see anything but a fancy room.

It was cold walking in, so I immediately covered myself in the blankets. I sighed as I looked up. If I can I'll force myself to sleep. I haven't tried this before. I close my eyes and focus on relaxing my body. My eyes became heavy, and within a second I felt myself drift into darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I shot up from where I was sleeping. I was breathing heavy and felt sweat drip from my face.

I had that dream again. I saw the shards, the hands, the black figure in the mirror. I think I found out why my body is choosing not to sleep. I would get this dream, and the feelings with it. They would feel so real, and I don't like the sound of that.

How long was I sleeping?

I slide out of the bed and feel worse than before. My head was spinning like crazy. My eyes felt heavy and images of shards were popping up again. I wobbled all the way to what I thought was the door, but when I walked in there was a mirror. I panicked and ran out of the room. I didn't see anything but I was so close. I can't see the freak I look like. It would be too much.

I finally make it out of the room. Struggling to walk I can still see the shards. I start to breathe heavily and I panick. Why is this happening? All becuase I can't sleep. All because I'm scared to look at myself . Am I really that weak? Who can help me?

" help me !" I mumble as I loose balance and knock over a vase and made a picture fall. I jump at the noise and bump into the wall next to me.

"~Felix~ he's yours now"

I looked around for the person who said that but I saw no one. I started panicking again, was I still in a dream?

"~remember~"

Suddenly I saw a flash of an image. It was Felix and me together. Only that Felix looked different and I was just a black silhouette. I could hear my heartbeat,  it was fast and it was skipping.

Then something finally clicked in my brain. That day I found out Felix loved me, was the day I made a blood promise with him.

I managed to start walking again and was practically stalking my way to where I knew Felix was. I felt my eyes try closing, but I kept fighting. This is all for Felix, he is the only one who can help me.

I made it down stairs, slowly but without falling. I stumbled into Felix's office. He looked up at me and immediately knew something was wrong. I opened my mouth feeling electricity run up my body. He ran towards me and I just closed my eyes.

" help me" I managed to say before I gave up and braced for impact. My face went pale and darkness rushed over me before I hit the ground.