It's All Going to Be Okay

First kiss.

Feeling commotion around me, I tried opening my eyes but they felt too heavy. I gave up trying and listened to what was going on instead. Someone was taking off gloves, another was washing there hands and by the sound of it Someone was cleaning. My ears twitched at the sound of someone's heartbeat. Immediately turning my head to where I thought the person was I try opening my eyes again.

I smell my surroundings, and the familiar scent of gasoline and cologne is close. I open my mouth but nothing comes out. I can feel a bit stronger than before but I still feel tired. I move my fingers and then I feel warmth over them. My ears twitch again and I am finally able to see my surroundings.

Felix is there, but he doesn't look like Felix?

His face looks different. His body looks different. Everything looks different. The only thing that confuses me is that I'm am not scared, instead I feel the exact opposite. I feel safe and secure.

I hold tighter on his grip and use the strength I have to get up but it's useless. I'm weak and probably drugged.

Closing my eyes, I loosen my grip and move my head away from him. I'm so tired, I don't want him to know how much I'm feeling right now.

"Aileen, I know your suffering, we already did some test on you. You will be okay, everything will be okay, I'm here. Nothing will ever hurt you." Felix said soothingly.

I nodded as he picked me up ,and placed my body across his shoulders. I grunted and  felt my body move from side to side as Felix moved. I placed my hand on his back for support but felt something bony instead. I open my eyes and see black wings and a bull tail. I don't pay any mind to it. Felix has many secrets, he is bound to tell me about this. I relax again and rest my head on the base of hud left wing.

I was half asleep by the time I felt Felix place me on his bed. I stiffen as I hear him get in with me. I never shared a bed with someone, let alone a man. He got comfortable and pulled me close to him. His familiar scent relaxed me and I fell asleep in his embrace.

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I woke up to a sleeping Felix, and me completely attached to him. My face heated up as I realized I just slept in the same bed as Felix.

Speaking of sleeping, I felt better. Was this the first time I slept peacefully in a while?. I didn't have a nightmare, and I don't feel as tired as before. I feel refreshed actually.

I look up from where I was resting my head and Felix is sleeping peacefully. I entangle myself from Felix, as best as possible and reach up to his face. Slowly I lightly touch his cheek. He doesn't flinch, so I place my palm on his cheek. His face is warm and he looks so handsome like this. My eyes move from his closed eyes, to his nose, down to his lips. Looking close I see a tiny tattoos. They look like the ones on my side. I smile at how they were bit similar. That is when I got an idea. Felix is sleeping, he isn't lucid at the moment so he won't know if I just give him a little peck on the lips. I have never done this before, so I wanna try it.

Pulling away from Felix completely, I sit criss-crossed from him. He hasn't woken up yet, so I need to hurry. Leaning downing I panick and stop. My lips are an inch away from his and I hesitate. What if he doesn't want this to happen. I don't want to scare him.

As I'm overthinkning this I see Felix start opening his eyes. Without thinking it I smash my lips on his. He gasp and I pull away quickly. 'Oh no!, what did I do, why did I panick!!' I cursed myself. I scurried off the bed and hid from Felix.

After a long minute I hear Felix chuckle. I close my eyes and hid my head between my knees. My ears twitch as I sense him getting closer to me. I mumble a little sorry and don't pick up my head. Felix chuckles again and uses his fingers to pick up my chin. I don't open my eyes to prevent myself from embarrassment.

Feeling warm lips on mine, my eyes shoot open and see Felix up close. His eyes aren't open until he pulls away with a smile. I just look at him, blushing the whole time.

" if you wanted one, you could've just asked, without the embarrassment." He commented.

" right sorry..." I responded.

He got up from his crouching position and gave me his hand. I took it and he pulled me up. Letting go ,he walked out of the room.

I stood there smiling like an idiot for about 10 minutes before I regained my composure. I shrieked at the fact that it was my first kiss. I danced around like a maniac until I released all my jitters.

Deciding to get my day started I looked for a closet and bathroom. In the closet I found black ductape and made my way back to the mirror. I opened the door and saw there were no windows. I crawled inside the bathroom closing the door, making it dark. The darkness reminded me of so many things, but the one thing that was stronger than all of them was comfort.  I stood up slowly, making sure I couldn't see myself in the mirror.

Once I started taping the mirror I wouldn't stop until I was fully covered. If this is what I have to do, then so be it. Seeing myself shouldn't have been my fear, but it is. Whatever I did or will do is going to haunt me forever, and I would rather keep my looks a secret from me then seeing the freak that I am.