It's All Going to Be Okay

Sounds nice

"No... I have not, what is revenge?"

"Aileen, I need you to take what I'm about to tell you very seriously, okay darling?"

"Okay"

"Revenge is defined very differently depending on the person. I want revenge becuase I believe that the people who made me suffer should suffer in the same way. What those people have done to me is nothing compared to what I want them to feel"

" you want to treat them the way they treated you?"

" exactly darling, I want to give them everything that they deserve"

What Felix was telling me seemed to be reasonable but I couldn't help but feel wrong.

"Why Felix?"

" Darling you will soon understand, everything I do will make sense to you in time"

At that moment I didn't know how to feel. Does he really want to hurt others?

I furrowed my brows at the thought of hurting someone. In my mind it seemed wrong to me.

I could tell this was important to Felix. I leaned towards Felix's shoulder and just laid there not moving.

" revenge sounds fair" I commented after a while of sitting in silence. Felix wrapped his arms around me and put his head on mine. He chuckled saying " it will be".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little while after Felix finished his work, I did a little bit of my own thinking.

Revenge is a precious thing.

Revenge can either be good or bad.

Revenge seems to give clarity to some.

I was sitting on one of the couches infront of Felix's desk. He was typing away on his laptop, organizing some plans he told me about.

While just staring off into who knows where, I couldn't shake the feeling that Revenge seems like the only option for me, nevermind the fact that it seems wrong. The thought of so many people making me go through life alone and unloved. Starting with my dad. Everything started with my dad. He didn't love me.... he just saw me as an experiment gone wrong. Not only did he use me, but he threw me to the side right after. Crazy thing is, I loved him the same way any little young girl would have. I viewed my father as someone who would protect me and love me. That image didnt fucking last long now did it?....

I felt a hot tear roll down my face.

Why does it hurt so much knowing that someone you loved, didn't feel the same way?

I wiped my tear away as soon I felt it start to fall down my cheek. Having that tear fall would mean a lot more later on in my life then now.

I got up from my chair and walked around Felix's desk. He glanced at me but didn't seem to care I was there. I bent down and forced his head to look at me. Before he could say anything I kissed him.

Walking off , I said nothing and headed back to the kitchen.

Right now it doesn't matter who I thought loved me, the only thing that matters is who loves me.

And I will protect that love with everything I have.