It's All Going to Be Okay

I am not getting better

Felix and I have have gotten closer during a month living in the headquarters. I feel really comfortable with him. He has helped me through my sleeping issue and I appreciate everything he has done.

Right now I'm sitting on the bathroom counter, thinking. I haven't seen any of my friends since I starting sleeping normally again. I hope they're proud of me. I wish to see them again but I know that is not possible. I believe my health has gotten better.

I start mumbling the words to my favorite song as I lean against the taped mirror.

I stared at the wall for a while seeing it morph into several shapes and forms. I smiled at some of them and chuckled at others. I didn't know this place would have a great sense of humor. I should visit more often. I trace my hand along the back of my leg and continue to mumble the words of my favorite song to myself.

Closing my eyes I listen to my heart beat. The rhythm is a slow one and I can almost hear it become a sentence. "Y-you should should.... look in t-the the mirror~"

I flinch at the voice. Why does it want me to see myself.

"Look lo-look in the m-mirror Aileen."

I muffle a weak no as I opened my eyes . I was in a black abyss. The place was so familiar but the feeling of fear was hitting me. I could hear my heavy breathing and choked noises as I struggle to calm myself. That's when I see something moving towards me quickly. I try moving away but I'm paralyzed.

"Aileeeen~ you can't run forever, just look in the mirror!!, look at the freak you are!!"

I tried speaking but I couldn't. Those words sent chills run down my spine. I didnt want to be this way. It's not like I chose to be in this body. I want out. I want to be in a normal life. One where my family actually loved me. A life where I hadnt became a lab experiment that had gone wrong. I felt the anger rise up in my body. I felt hot tears rolling down my face as I see very clearly a mirror coming towards me.

" I WANT TO LEAVE!!!, JUST KILL ME NOW!! PLEASE!!!" I shouted feeling all of the anger and tears flow out.

"AILEEEN!!, SNAP OUT OF IT!!"

The voice sounded so familiar but I just wanted to be alone. " I just want to die...please" I said weakly. Then slowly I opened my eyes slowly and a blurry image of a teary Felix was holding the sides of my face. I felt tears fall uncontrollably now.

" I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I confessed as Felix pulled me into a hug.

I clung onto the back of his shirt as my sobs were out of my control. The feeling of anger and fear were still lingering as Felix was trying to calm me down.

" your fine, your okay Aileen, I'm here, it's going to be okay" he reassured me.

I shook my head muffling little no's.

" I'm scared... I'm scared, I can't, it's not getting better, I'm not okay..... please help!" I asked desperately.

" hey hey hey, look at me ,I'm here, it's okay, just breathe..." Felix demanded.

He pulled away and forced me to look at him. His tears were gone but I could see the hurt in his eyes. I nodded as I focused on my breathing.

In

Out

In

Out

I could see a bit more clearly now. I looked around and saw the familiar bathroom door, shower curtain, and the soft Grey towels. I could feel my heart beating quieter now, but it is still at a fast pace.

I looked back at Felix who was still holding my face in his hands. The moment we made eye contact I leaned my head down onto his shoulder. He played with my hair and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his torso and wrapped my arms around his neck. I breathed in his scent and calmed myself a bit more.

He walked out of the bedroom and made his way down the stairs. We got to his office and I tightened my grip on him. While Felix sat down at his desk getting back to his work as I sat comfortably on his lap.

" what kind of business do you do?" I asked curiously.

" why do you ask?" Felix responded.

" I want to be part of what you do and not lay around bored" I commented.

Felix chuckled darkly, " okay then ".

" what I basically do is make sure everything is in check and my men have everything they need. I only go hands on with everything if I have a plan going through and I need things to be perfect. Right now I am making a plan with the information I ordered my men to get for me." Felix started.

I nodded but that wasn't exactly what I was looking for.

" how did this all start, Felix".

Felix stiffened under me and I couldn't help but smile. I hit the sensitive topic didn't I?

Felix slowly looked at my smiling face and his pupils dilated then got smaller then usual.

" you ever heard about.... revenge... darling" Felix voice dropped into a serious tone and I couldn't help but smile a lot bigger than I should have.

Oh this is going to be good.