euphoric

eighteen

downtown brooklyn
omniscient

(TRIGGER WARNING)

devastation, the only word that could describe the feeling in the waiting room.

the thought of never seeing kasani again was completely crushing them. they never thought they would see this day ever in their life.

the last time they went through this, it was accidental and he wasn't near death.

to endya, the feeling was completely new. she never had to be in the hospital hearing horrible news about someone this close to, someone she loved.

she wanted the first time that she told kasani that she loved him to be in person not when he was laying on a hospital bed or even worse, when he was laying in a casket.

she couldn't describe the feeling going through her at this very moment. to say she was heartbroken would be a complete understatement.

what makes it worse for her is that they just had a talk. she thought that she got it through to him that she was there for him and that she wasn't going anywhere. she was there for him no matter what but he didn't understand.

to kasani, no one was there for him. he loved them, a lot. he knew that endya was there physically but was she there for him mentally?

she was, and she knew she was but he didn't. his entire family was there for him but he didn't know how to talk to them.

he needed an outing. endya was his outing but he took the opposite route, drugs. drugs and self hurt. this time, he purposefully took more. he knew it was going to numb him but he also knew the risks.

he knew it was selfish of him to kill himself but at the moment he couldn't seem to care.

"i can't," endya stood up and made her way to the door.

amara and kimora were glued to their chairs. in shock but sobbing as well.

bryson was walking around in attempt to calm himself down when he saw endya walking out. he followed her out to the seats outside of the waiting room.

"why bry? why did he do this to me," she sobbed "i got so attached to him just for him to leave."

"i know i might sound selfish but i-i told him bryson. i fucking told him," she hit the armrest in attempt to release her anger "i told him i was gonna be there for him and i-if he needed to t-talk or he just needed someone a-around that he could call me."

"he just told me that it happened before, that he almost died. i didn't think he would do it again. he didn't have to do it again. i love him bryson, i-i love him so m-much." she sobbed and he rubbed her back.

she would never be able to process this. she would never come to terms with the fact that a man that she grew to love in such a short amount of time didn't want to be on this earth. he hid his pain so well. yeah, he was sad about the death but no one would've known that he wanted to kill himself unless he told you.

to her, there had to be more to it. he could still be affected by what his ex did to him and how she treated him. it could also be more serious, something psychological.

"i-i never would've thought i would see this day. i'm so hurt bry. i just want to see him, to hug him, anything. i just want him." she began crying harder and harder.

she truly was hurt but she knew the two women they left in the waiting room were hurting as well.

"momma kimmy, amara." she spoke as she walked back into the waiting room.

their heads popped up, tears still running down their faces. it was no use in them wiping their faces since the tears wouldn't stop.

"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry." she hugged them as they all silently cried.

"stop saying sorry baby. stop feeling at fault. he didn't want to be here so did something about it. you were not the reason he felt this way, if anything, you made him better." kimora reassured her.

kimora was attempting to keep herself together. she didn't want to completely break down in front of everyone. obviously, she couldn't help the tears that fell but those tears would never explain the hurt she felt.

for amara, it was mostly shock. her and kasani were attached at the hip since she was born. despite the small age difference, he always treated her like his daughter most of the time. where you saw kasani, you saw amara and vice versa.

the were inseparable.

bryson was confused. confused on why kasani was taking pryce's death so hard, confused on why he wanted to die, but mostly on why he didn't come talk to him.

everyone had a few selfish thoughts. things like: did he not think about us, or did he not care what the rest of us felt.

the truth was, kasani couldn't think of them. the small and faint voices in his head began to get louder and louder, crowding him and getting rid of any other thoughts he may have had in his head.

all he could think about was leaving and getting rid of his pain.

little did he know, leaving was not the answer. he had a beyond amazing family who were willing to be there for him. him getting rid of his pain caused them ten times the pain.

they wanted to go back in time. they wanted to stop this. to stop him from feeling alone, from feeling that the only way that his pain would go away is to die.

they just wanted him to know that they were there for him. they wanted to help him grieve, regardless of the fact that it was two years after the traumatic event.

they wanted him to know that he was loved.

..TO BE CONTINUED..

whew....

this chapter was mostly just an insight on how they felt about the news, i couldn't find a good way to add more dialogue.

how y'all feeling so far?