Dirty Little Player (Book 4) The Dirty Little Secrets Series

Chapter One-Gideon

Hello, Lovelies, 

I hope everyone is doing well!  Thank you for reading Dirty Little Player, the last book in this series.  I would also like to thank everyone who has supported this series.  

Schedule: I am going to be releasing a chapter every Monday.  If I can release more than that I will but since I am moving back into working since my accident, I'm trying to start off slow so I can get back into my work groove again.  So please be patient with me. 

I hope you enjoy this chapter.  If you do, please vote and/or comment.  

-XXXX Amanda 

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-Five Years Later

I glanced around the table as I sat down across from my brother, Lance and his wife, Becca. His best friend, Asher and his wife sat to my left and Lena's brother, Jay and his girlfriend, Nica sat to my right. As usual, there was an empty seat next to me as if they wanted to point out to me that I was alone and always would be.

I winced as an image of Laura flashed through my mind. None of them except Lance even knew of her existence. They simply assumed that I jumped from bed to bed without any want of a commitment. The truth was that I had made her a promise to her and I intended to keep it.

A sultry voice moved through my mind causing me to glance up. The woman who stood before me was the only danger to that promise...Carina Arce...Beautiful with dark hair, a lithe body and brown eyes flecked with gold and green. It was a good thing she hated me.

She narrowed her eyes at me, curling her perfectly bowed lips. "Why do you always have to invite him."

Lance chuckled well aware of her hate for me. "His is my brother."

"Are you sure?" She asked, moving toward the seat beside me and making a show of shoving it as far away from me as possible. "He could be adopted."

Lance chuckled again. "Do you think he got those good looks from anyone but our family?" He rolled his eyes. "Although I do remember a time when I wished for it but there is no way. I don't think my mother would put up with him if he wasn't her son."

Carina snorted. "I guess I'll have to deal with it."

She sat down, leaning away from me. "Don't worry. I don't bite. Well...I wouldn't bite you."

The color in her face rose as she leaned further away from me but I could see it. Through her hate and dislike of me, she also desired me. Though I would never cross that line, it caused my heart to pound because the thought of her wanting me was still tempting...Too tempting.

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Lance had insisted on talking to me after dinner. The look on his face told me that it wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation. I sighed assuming it was about our father or mother but when he remained silent as we reached my house I wondered if I was wrong.

We walked inside that same silence blanketing us as I moved toward my bar. "Do you want a drink?" I asked, hoping to get this conversation started because the longer the silence stretched between us, the more anxious I became.

He shook his head. "I've almost given the stuff up."

I chuckled. "Marriage has made you boring."

"And the single life has made you bitter," Lance shrugged.

"Are you here to lecture me?" I sighed, feeling guilty because I loved Becca and the happiness she gave my brother. Maybe I was bitter because I would never have that...Not without Laura.

"No," he said, his usual jovial expression falling. My stomach churned because it almost seemed as if he felt sorry for me. "I'm here to support you."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, my stomach twisting painfully.

He pulled a folded piece of newspaper from his pocket and handed it to me. I unfolded it. The breath caught in my throat as a grainy announcement for a wedding rose up from the paper. A picture of Laura with the doctor who had saved her life was situated beside the announcement. They had been married in a small ceremony in Dallas.

"Gid," he said as I swayed, grabbing the edge of the bar to keep my balance. He stepped forward, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"I-Is she happy?" I asked, my heart shattering.

"She is," Lance said, softly as he patted my shoulder. "I know this hurts."

I shook my head because he didn't know how much. I had stayed beside her while she was in the hospital but her parents had sent me away. I had vowed I would find my way back to her and when I did, she was the one who rejected me but not before I made a promise that she would be the only person I would ever truly love.

For a year, I had waited, convinced her parents were the reason for her rejection. When she sent me a letter telling me to move on with my life, I appeared to for her but I didn't love any of those women because I still hoped she would return. Now, that hope was shattered and that promise was for nothing. She loved someone else. She had never loved me.

"I know I never approved of her," Lance said, softly, "I always felt she used you to get out of a bad situation but I know you really loved her. When she pushed you away I was relieved because I thought you'd move on but when you made that promise and stuck to it, I hoped for something to happen that would show you it's time to go on with your life. Now it has. I know that you blamed yourself for everything and I was convinced that was the reason why you held onto her. No matter how much I told you that you weren't at fault, you didn't listen. I hope you listen to me now. You weren't the cause for her bad life. You weren't the cause for the accident. You aren't the cause for anything that happened to her."

"Her parents said-"

"Yes, her parents said you were at fault for all of those things. Gid, you weren't even driving during the accident. She was and there are things about that accident, you don't seem to understand. It was her fault. Not yours." Lance shook his head. "As your brother, who does love you, I want you to be happy and even though this hurts now, maybe it's enough to convince you to quit punishing yourself."

My heart clenched in my chest so hard it took my breath away. I squeezed my eyes shut as tears fell down my cheeks surprising me because I couldn't remember the last time I cried.

"I wish...I wish I'd never seen this," I said, gripping my chest.

"Gideon," Lance whispered, "I was afraid of what you would do if you found this while alone. I hope you aren't angry."

I shook my head, more tears falling. Slowly, I raised my head to look at him, the only one who knew about Laura and had tried to help me.

I felt weak as I whispered, "Can you stay with me for a while?"

Lance nodded his head, "I'll stay as long as you want me to."

I nodded as I sobbed, releasing the promise, releasing the love I had for Laura and realizing how much time I had lost hoping for her to return.