Dirty Little Player (Book 4) The Dirty Little Secrets Series

Chapter Two-Carina

Hello, Lovelies, 

I hope everyone is safe, happy and healthy!  Thank you so much for reading Dirty Little Player and for reading the other books in this series.  There is some melancholy that the series is ending but I have other books in mind.  

I adore you all.  I hope you enjoy this chapter.  

-XXXXX Amanda 

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I walked into my apartment throwing my purse on the chair, grinding my teeth as I walked into my kitchen. I shuffled through the cabinet, finding the shot glass and then, poured in the whiskey. I needed a stiff drink after dealing with that insufferable asshole, Gideon.

I threw back the shot as someone knocked on the door. I sighed, hoping my day wouldn't get any worse before making my way to answer it. Upon opening the door, I knew my wish wouldn't come true.

My sister, Nicola stood there in all of her perfect glory. Her black hair fell down her back to her tiny waist. She raised her brow, her dark eyes cold as they traveled over me.

"Are you going to invite me in?" She asked, causing me to narrow my eyes.

"Not if I can help it," I said, raising my chin. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah...Sis," she sighed, "Why do you always have to be so suspicious?"

I ground my teeth. "Maybe because you've slept with every man I've been with," I shrugged. "That's not too sisterly, is it?"

She sighed, "I see you're still upset over Evan. I promise you that he wasn't faithful long before I got to him."

"I'm sure he wasn't but you're my sister," I said narrowing my eyes. "You should have been more sympathetic. Of course, you never have been, have you?" Nicola rolled her eyes as if I were being over dramatic. "What do you want?"

She shook her head, her hair shining and waving down her back. "I was hoping we could put aside this anger for mama. She's so upset about it."

I ground my teeth. "I'm sure she's taken your side. After all, you can do no wrong in her eyes."

"Carina, I did you a favor. You now know what type of person he was." Nicola shrugged. "At least you didn't make the mistake of marrying him."

I gripped the door handle. "As much as I would love to believe that you did anything for me and not for yourself, I don't believe you," I raised my chin. "I would rather be alone and without family than deal with your constant presence. I am exhausted from dealing with your jealous attention seeking, Nicola. So, this will be the last time I see you and as much as it pains me, it will be the last I speak to mama too because I was never going to be good enough in her eyes. I hope you enjoy each other's company. Don't come back."

I slammed the door in her face and walked to the kitchen and poured another shot before slamming it back. I took a deep breath hoping I had made the right decision and the familiar guilt I always seemed to feel around my mother and sister would eventually fade.

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I couldn't stay in. The walls were beginning to close in on me, suffocating me with the thoughts...With the guilt.

I stared into the mirror for too long, taking in the delicate planes of my face. I was pretty but never pretty enough. I was smart but never smart enough. I worked hard but never hard enough.

I shook my head and walked toward the door, deciding to go to Becca and Lance's house. Becca always made time for me, especially when I had just dealt with family matters. If anyone understood, Becca did. Her parents were awful. They had told her first fiancée, Barrett that she wouldn't marry him. Unfortunately, he had chosen to take his life as a result and Becca had never forgiven them. She would never let them in her life with Lance.

She opened the door as I arrived, wearing a terry cloth robe. Her blue eyes moved over my face, concern wrinkling her brow.

"I hope I didn't ruin your night with Lance," I said, regret swimming through me. I hated taking her away from him. Becca deserved every moment of happiness after everything she had gone through.

She smiled and shook her head. "Lance is with Gideon. He's going through something. He's staying with him tonight."

I ground my teeth at the sound of Gideon's name. He was just like every other guy that I had dated. All he cared about was himself, his fun and his freedom to do whatever the hell he wanted no matter who it hurt.

"What happened?" Becca asked, ushering me inside.

"Nicola happened," I said, raising my chin. "She came by tonight. I guess mama sent her."

I shook my head as I sank onto the couch. "Of course she did." Becca's nostrils flared. "I have never felt comfortable with your mother's obvious favoritism toward Nicola. It's as if she doesn't see anything that she does wrong."

"Mama has always favored Nicola more than me," I said, my bottom lip trembling. "When my father was alive, he would argue with her over it. I guess if he wasn't there, it would have been much worse."

"I guess so," Becca said sitting next to me. "What did she say when she found out Nicola had slept with Evan."

I gave a short bitter laugh. "She put the blame on Evan at first. He seduced her and very quickly after, she put the blame on me for always choosing such horrible men. She even made it sound like he scandalized Nicola."

"So what have you decided to do?" Becca asked, frowning.

"From this point on, I don't have family. Family died with my father." I sighed.

Becca grabbed my hand. "You still have family in me, Nica and Lena. We may not be blood related but we are your sisters. Lance, Asher and Jay accept you too."

"I guess that means I'll have to deal with Gideon," I groaned and then, smiled. "But you're right you are my family."

Becca raised her brows. "We are." She was silent for a moment and shook her head, "Gideon isn't so bad. You should get to know him. After all, he did save you from my crazy ex. Remember?"

"I do remember," I said, snorting. "He reminds me every chance he gets."

Becca's eyes darkened. "He's probably desperate for you to like him." She sighed. "Listen, there's a lot more to Gideon than you think. He's been through a lot. I think if you got to know him you would see that."

"It's dangerous to get to know Gideon," I said, closing my eyes because I had just admitted something I didn't mean to admit.

When I looked at Becca, she stared at me with her brows raised. "I think I'm going to ask my first favor as a member of your new family."

"And what's that?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"For the sake of peace, get to know Gideon. Give him a chance to show you he isn't the asshole you think he is." Becca shrugged.

I wanted to say no but Becca had done nothing but help me since the day she met me. I swiped my hand over my forehead, feeling as if this was going to be the worst decision of my life.

"Okay," I whispered. "I'll give Gideon a chance. I'll be nice to him...For you."

Even as I spoke the words, I wondered if I would be able to keep the promise because there was something about Gideon that got under my skin.