Dirty Little Player (Book 4) The Dirty Little Secrets Series

Chapter Thirteen/Gideon

I could sense the moment she realized the boat was named after her. My skin prickled and for a moment, I worried she would flee. This was the moment I feared because I was showing her exactly how I had felt about her. I was putting my heart in her hands, allowing her to decide what she would do with it.

I swallowed, forcing myself to explain. "Boats need names for good luck. Most people name them after the people who mean something to them," I said, turning to face her. "You have always meant so much to me...So much that I chose your name to keep me safe."

"Oh, Gideon," she breathed, her mouth parting. Tears rested in her beautiful eyes.

"I wanted you to see it...I wanted you to know," I said, cupping her cheeks, comforted by the fact, she didn't run away after seeing it. "I want you to understand that this hasn't just happened. I've cared for you for a long time."

A tear dropped down her cheek, causing my heart to clench. She didn't know that every time I had shown my love for Laura, she had run or used it as a weapon. There was still fear that she would do the same.

"I hope those are tears of happiness," I said, cautiously.

"They are," she said, healing my heart as she pressed her lips to mine.

"That's my deepest wish... To make you happy," I whispered against her lips. "To show you what you're truly worth with every one of my actions."

I could feel her smile against my lips. "And I want to do the same for you." She pulled away from me to stare into my eyes. "I won't say I'm not scared you are going to break my heart. You have that power."

I took her hand, placing it over my heart. "My heart is yours, Carina. I fought it over a stupid promise to someone who didn't care. I'm done doing that. My loyalty is to you. It should have always been to you. I'm not going to break your heart. I'm done running. I'm done ruining my image. This is me. The real me. You have the power here. You are the one who decides what happens next."

A sob escaped her, causing my heart to clench. "Gideon," She breathed my name, "I will protect your heart. I promise."

I pulled her into my arms, swearing I would do anything for this woman. Maybe I was making another promise that would end up destroying me but with Carina in my arms, I couldn't make myself care because it would be an honor to be destroyed by her if I got to love her right now.

**********

The boat swayed gently as we walked onto the deck. Carina's eyes widened when she found the table set with food and wine.

"I thought you might be hungry," I shrugged with a grin.

She giggled and it was the most glorious sound I had ever heard. I wanted to hear it again and again.

"I'm famished," she said, blinking up at me. "I was too nervous to eat today."

I raised my brow, realizing she was as nervous as I was. It was relieving to know that this outing meant as much to her as it did to me.

I squeezed her hand as I led her to the table pulling her chair out for her. She giggled again. "It's weird to think back to a week ago," she said, shrugging. "I never thought of you as the pull out the chair type... Or a romantic."

"A week ago, I wasn't," I said, smiling. "I guess the right woman will always bring it out in even a man with an ice heart."

She blushed. "I never thought you had an ice heart. You did save me once. Lincoln terrified me that night. I was afraid he was going to kill me. Someone with an ice heart wouldn't have cared enough to save someone they didn't know."

I frowned as she took her seat. I moved around the table and lowered into the chair across from her. "I don't think that's true. Most people would have stepped in."

"Most people would have gotten out their phones and videoed it. At the most, they might have called 911," she shrugged. "You didn't. You actually saved me."

"And you continue to save me," I said, my heart reaching for her. "So, we're even."

She bit her bottom lip. Her eyes slid over me. "Can I ask you something?"

I straightened, suddenly afraid she would ask something that would change her opinion of me. "You can."

"Why me?" She asked, her brow furrowing. "You could have anyone else."

My eyes widened. She didn't see herself clearly at all. "You're beautiful but that's not just outer beauty. I've witnessed you leaving work to go to the homeless shelter or the animal shelter to volunteer. I've seen how you helped Becca and Lena and Nica. You care about everyone even when they are rude. You're smart and creative. You are stubborn and can cut down someone if they are being assholes but you don't hate just to hate. If you hate someone, they have given you a reason. You're funny and thankfully, forgiving. Of course, you're fucking hot. I won't deny that."

"I wish I met this version of you before I met...Well, any of my exes. They all treated me the same. All ended up in bed with Nicola," she said, her eyes darkening.

I could see her insecurities moving over her face. "And they were all fucking idiots."

She shrugged, glancing down at the silver lids covering the food and I knew she was going to change the subject. "What food did you get for us?" She tapped the lid with her fingernail.

I smiled as I uncovered two plates of chicken caprese grilled to perfection. "This is my favorite dish!" She said, clapping her hands.

"I know," I shrugged. "You order it too often for it not to be."

"You notice a lot about me," she said, raising her brow. "I wonder if you can read minds."

I chuckled. "No, but I would love to read yours."

She stared at me. "Try. Maybe you'll guess what I want to do after we eat."

I shook my head. "Have dessert."

"Yes," she said, giving me a meaningful smile. My eyes widened as I suddenly got her meaning.

I breathed out. I did want to have her in my bed. I really, really did but I wanted to go slow and show her this wasn't about sex but then, she said the only thing that would change my mind.

"After all, you said I choose what happens next," she said, grinning, "And I've made my choice. This is what I want."

I took a deep breath. "Then, I will never deny you."

That was the truth. Anything she wanted; I was going to give her.