Oneshots (Book 2)

(OoO S2 Epilogue, OoO S3 Prequel) What Hurts the Most

(CHEESE YEAH! i FINALLY got this written WHOOP! Warning Major FEELS incoming, i have warned you)

Inpu pov

Walking, pretending walking, and pretending that's all i'm doing as it's all i CAN do, my mind and heart are else where, where? At the scene of Bryan dying, over, and over, and OVER it keeps playing in my head, ON LOOP! I can't take it it's driving me mad, sad, crazy, calm, everything! I just can't handle it and i want nothing more than to just curl up and sleep, but even then i can't do that, i have to care for the camp, i have to try to get him back, i-.....i need to lay down.

I turn and walk to Bryan's bed chamber and lay on his bed, it smells like him, i miss him so much, sighing to myself i hug one of his pillows tears pooling in my eyes, i can hear Magnus enter the room, their voice is muffled so i don't understand what they're asking of me, so i just hum. I hear them sigh and then leave, i know i'm worrying my friends and even my family but i just....i just can't handle it all right now.

A clash of thunder sounds and soon rain drizzles onto the mansion's roof, i smile softly remembering Bryan saying he loves the rain as it helps his flowers grow, my heart pangs with sadness and i frown once again, before taking a breath and whispering softly

"I can take the rain on roof of this empty house

That don't bother me"

I let my tears fall as i sing louder

"I can take a few tears now and then and just let'em out"

I shiver hugging the pillow tighter my voice growing more watery

"I'm not a-fraid to cry every once in awhile

Even though going on with you gone, still upsets me"

I let out a sob squeezing the pillow against my chest

"There are days every now and again, i pretend i'm okay"

I take a shaky breath trying to calm myself, voice shifting more into song

"But that's not what gets me"

I stare at where Bryan should be laying as we cuddle close together after a long day of training

"What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you train away"

I wince remembering how hard he trained to get that d- spell right so he could defeat that d- rose!

"And never knowing, what could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what i was trying to do"

I sit up and leave the room not being able to stare at it any longer, but taking the pillow with me i wander to the throne room and stare at his throne

"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere i go

But i'm doing it"

I walk up the stairs to the throne brushing one of my hands along the arm rests

"It's hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and i'm alone

Still harder"

I collapse to my knees at the throne's chair/base thing at the top of the stairs head to the skies

"Getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret, but i know if i could do it over

I would trade, give away all the words that i saved in my heart that i left unspoken"

I lower my head hugging the pillow to my chest again, my mind drifting to the final battle

"What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you fight away

And never knowing,

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you, is what i was trying to do"

I cry hard, letting out a loud scream in the tune of the music

"uh-YEEEEAAAAAHHHH!"

I sigh after my scream, making a sorta "whoo" noise, before standing up, dropping the pillow on the throne, and turning, walking down the stairs and toward outside the rain still pouring down

"What hurts the most"

I walk into the to the doorway staring at the bridge where the battle took place

"Was being so close"

I reach forward toward where Bryan was flying in battle with the Rose

"And having so much to say" "To say"

I run down the main path stairs closer to the bridge
"AND WATCHING YOU FALL AWAY!"

I stand where he fell and stare into the darkened clouds rain falling on my face as i scream out

"AND NEVER KNOWING

WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

AND NOT SEEING THAT LOVING YOU, IS WHAT I WAS TRYING TO DO!" "not seeing that loving you"

I look down letting the rain soak me as my tears fall freely staring at where my husband should have been, alive but no he died!

"That's what i was trying to do

Ohhhh~"

Tears falling from my eyes i collapse to my knees crying my heart out just wanting to to hug my husband again.

Outside pov

A faint glimmer flickers in the pond below the distraught Jackal hybrid, three small crystals lay at it's bottom the rain while not making them shine, they still sparkle in longing for their other pieces to combine and care for the soul they love. But alas the young Jackal is far to much in pain to see them as he rises and leaves the pond, not noticing the crystals as that journey has yet to come.