Letting Go

Chapter Nineteen

Spencer's P.O.V

"Wake up!" I heard my mom shout as she ripped open my curtains. "F*ck" the sun was so f*ckin' bright it felt as if my head was being smashed by a million hammers.

"Don't you dare cuss at me!" My mom yelled as she pulled off the duvet. "And get up!"

"Why?" I groaned covering my eyes with my arm.

"Why?" She paused. "Why, because you have mopped around long enough!" she shouted.

"Do I look dumb to you? Do I? What, did you think I didn't notice you coming home drunk every night? I know you're grieving but it's been three weeks Spencer. Besides, drinking doesn't help at all."

My mom may seem like she's always had the perfect life but that's not exactly true. A couple years ago when Caitlin and I were ten our uncle, my mom's younger brother died in a car accident and she didn't take it well. She started drinking, it started out like me but then it got worse. She used to disappear for days at a time- we had no idea where she would go, probably to a bar. She stopped going to work and everything seemed like it was falling apart. It turned her into a monster, it wasn't really her fault. You can't control what you do when you're intoxicated. I hated alcohol because of what it did to my mother. Anyway, a year after that my dad checked her into a rehab facility where she stayed for six months. But ever since Caitlin's death it seems to be the only thing that works for me.

"Don't make the mistakes I did." I heard my mom say in a soft whisper, but the message was heard loud and clear. She's right; it's time to carry on living.

I got up and jumped into the shower. I got dressed and went downstairs for some breakfast. I grabbed a couple of my mom's world famous pancakes; well not world famous just famous to our family and sat down next to my dad.  The look on his face screeched surprised. I hadn't really spoken to anyone since Caitlin died, nor had I joined them for breakfast- any meal for that matter.

"Spencer, it's nice to see you out of your room for once." my father said, patting me on the back. It wasn't sarcastic or rude, he looked genuinely happy to see me.

  I smiled a half-hearted smile that didn't quite reach my eyes. Isn't it expected for me not to be adjusted to the reality of not having a twin anymore? It's worse than not having sister because she wasn't just a sister she was my twin, my other half. How am I supposed to function without half of myself not here?

"So what are your plans for prom? Planning on asking Jenna?" My mom asked raising an eyebrow.

Prom?

I haven't even thought about that, let alone asking Jen. She probably already has a date, that date being Aaron. Just thinking about it makes me angry.

"No" I replied and turned back to my food hoping to send the message to my mom that I didn't want to talk about this.

Apparently she didn't get the message because she began again but I stopped her. "We broke up" I mentioned abruptly

"I know that but don't you think it's time to make up?" My mom asked with a hopeful expression.

"She's with Aaron now" I said without any emotion in my voice. My mother didn't know what to say after that.

“I don’t think she’d be able to move on that quickly Spence. She really liked you.” My mother said cutting a piece of her pancake but not putting it in her mouth.

We sat in silence after that, well I did. My parents continued after a minute or two just talking amongst themselves.
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