Letting Go

Chapter Five

We tip- toed to my room.

"Spencer what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I told you, I couldn't sleep" he said.

"And what am I supposed to do about that?" I asked cheekily.

He wriggled his eyebrows and started smirking. "No, whatever you're thinking; stop." I told him.
He started laughing.

"Jen I love how you always think the worst of me." He stated.

"Maybe I always assume the worst because you always think of the worst things to say." I said matter or factly.

"I heard you went to Caitlin." He was quite good at changing the subject.

"Yeah, I did." I said

"How was it?" he asked me

"Fine" I said not really giving much detail.

"Really?" He asked raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Yeah. Did your mom tell you what the doctor said?" I asked.

"Yeah" he said quietly.

There was silence. He was looking at my bookshelf now, scanning my books. He picked up one called 'The Fault in our Stars'
"You shouldn't read this stuff." He told me.

"What stuff?" I asked slightly annoyed at him for insulting one of my favourite books.

"This depressing stuff, it will only make you sad, especially when she dies." He explained

"Don't say that! I said smacking his arm.

"What? Caitlin is going to die, there's nothing we can do about it." He said a bit annoyed.

"You're too young to be this cynical you know." I said

"I'm not cynical, I'm realistic." Spencer corrected.

"You can't be negative" I began.

"Yes I can." He shouted. He placed is hands on my shoulders.

"Jen, we all die. No one gets out of here alive. Some just die sooner than others. So I'm sorry if you think I'm cynical or negative but its reality." He then pulled me into a hug. I slowly wrapped my arms around his waist so that I was hugging him back.

"I don't want her to die." I whispered into his chest

"Neither do I" he responded still holding me tight in his arms.

I looked up at him as he stared back down at me. He took his right arm off me and rubbed off a tear that had rolled down my cheek. It felt so good to be held and touched by him. He left his hand on my cheek and that's when it happened. He leaned down lowering his face to my level. He pressed his lips to mine and at first it was slow and gentle then moved to passionate and full of want.

His lips felt so soft against mine. He clearly knew what he was doing. All of a sudden it was all rushed and he started moving really fast and he lifted me off the floor and I wrapped my legs around his torso. He moved us to the bed and placed his body on top of mine. Our bodies moulded together as if we were two parts of a puzzle that completely fit together.

His arm snaked around my waist pulling me closer to him with each kiss.

To be honest I've never done anything like this. I've kissed a guy before but I've never made out while laying on a bed or something like that, let alone have sex.

I pulled away quickly. "Spencer." I said.

He stared down at me with so much emotion in his eyes. "Yes?" He said.