Break my chains

Chapter 17

I don't go to sleep at night. I feel ashamed that I left him there. Alone, to fight for his life and accomplish nothing. It's been a month and the war is still on. We've sent too many ships to keep checking and check again, but only a few could be saved. We know there's more still a live out there, but very few. And now I know my biggest fear. Losing him. Everything that has happens, based on him, he is the core. And when there's no core, everything falls apart. What will become of me. A sang the song I first sung for him. Tears roll down my eyes and my voice cracked. I sob and can't continue any longer. My eyes are puffy and sore for crying the whole month. Poltian calls me in to see the people they saved. But I doubt it's him.

I was right. Poltian comes up to me and looks at me sadly. "We check the whole ship. No ones there. I'm sorry. Just tell me what your looking for.", he says and I shake my head. I walk away tears rolling down my eyes. I walk away back to my bed. I cry until I'm drained and falls sleep. I wake up screaming. I dreamnt of the memory of leaving him. By himself. The thought always haunts me. I cried through the night.

I look in the mirror with heavy bags under my eyes. The scissors in my hands. I'll punish myself if I have to get him back. He's dead. He's done. I'm mad at myself! I'm mad at the universe to let this happen! I fiercely put my hair in a low ponytail. And place the scissors just below the band. I shut my eyes and snip. Now my hair is below my chin but doesn't reach my shoulders. My bangs falls and hides my eye. I pick up the pony tail and toss it. I put on my black suit that Glendal fixed. Now with my hair loose, you can see my whole tattoo. I walk down and outside and sneak into the garage. I grab a car and hope I don't crash I.to anything or any one. Surprisingly, I find a sensor over it. In a second the light turn on as the vehicle powers up. I drive out, if it had wheels, you would hear screech. I drive until I got to that single tube. The one that I went through to get my tattoo. With him.

I get out after finding a way to lock the doors. I jump down, this time my stomach doesnt turn. I walk through the door into Tally's room. "Hey.", she says and puts down her stuff and walks over to hug me. "I'm sorry, really.", she hugs me tighter. "Me too.", I whisper. I tell her that I want a tattoo and she asks which one. "His name.", I tell her. She nods and I sit down on the chair and point my finger on my shoulder. Nods and the light flashes.

Before i go to bed, I pull my shoulder sleeve down and look at his name one more time. As if it were tge savior to all my problems. I sigh and squeeze my we eyes shut.

I am in a white room. I look around to find someone or something. Then I see him. Pane. He looks at me and lifts his arms for a hug. I run to him and bury myself to him. "You know, I would never leave you, right?", he says and I nod. My head is still buried in his chest. "Just hold on.", he says. I hug him tighter, but suddenly I trip through him hugging myself. I look back. He looks transparent and flickers like homogragh. I stare at him in amazment. I force feet to move forward, but he's gone. The light goes off, but suddenly comes back on. I look around and behind me there in a table with a gun. I walk towards it when i hear rough breathing behind me and quickly spin around. Jayce is standing there, with Pane choked between his arms. A smike grows on Jayces face as Pane stays expressionless. I quickly grab the gun and point it torward him. I walk a little further but the gun jerks back. I try again, but it it doesnt work. Just makes a tapping sound. I put the gun down and try to get through the boundary that keeps us apart. Jayce slowly reaches behind him and pulls out a gun. My eyes widen qnd I fiercely hit the force feild. He presses the gun against Panes head and pulls the triger. Pane falls to the ground and blood splatters across Jayces face and smile. I scream out and............

I wake up with sweat all over me and my eyes blury with tears. I dont know what happend and it takes me a moment to remember where I am. I sigh and head for the bathroom.