Break my chains

Chapter 21

The designers are going crazy with makeup and everything today. Even though the ball is tonight. I just try to hold back tears as they do it. I still have my mind set on Pane. How his face looked when I closed the door. I feel so guilty and regretful. Plus, I feel very sick and I feel that someone might take him away. The thought haunts me and Levy sees my expresion, but doesn't ask. Levy and I don't talk much but I like her. We communicate with our eyes snd expressions. The dress is white and beautiful. It is a short, strapless dress up to the thighs that shows the back and my tattoo with lace on top that is long sleeve. Glendal was a bit annoyed when I told her if she could add something to cover Pane name. Ferra put a light red lipstick that matches the red shoes. I look nothing like Helen. I look like outer space. The stars are thes diamonds on the lace. The galaxy reflects from my face, it makes my eyes emphasize and glow. I even poke my face and make sure its real.

Androids walk me to the ball instead of Pane. I was informed everyone in the castle will be there. Even Pane. I cant stop thinking about him. He is everything in my world. The reason I was born. I sigh as the designers rush along behind me. Im not even worried what will happen tonight. Poltian waits for me at the ballroom door. "Uh. You look marvelous.", he comes and opens the door gesturing me to come in. I take a deep breath and walk through the doors.

Everyone looks happy and surprised by how elegant I look. But the music doesn't suit me much. In fact, its annoying. I wince a little like its giving me pain. I take a seat in one of the tables in the far left. Now I can see evrryone. Levy passes by and I stop her. "Sorry. Could you bring me my electronic. It comes with a cord as well in my room.", she smiles knowing what I am about to do and walks off. In minutes shes back with everything I told her. She gollows as i walk up the steps to the banging radio system and turn it off. I give it a try and plug the cord in along with my phone. Everyone is looking at me and whispering. I turn on a song called Bang Bang by three artist and smile. Everyone looks at me weirdly but smiles as well. They start dancing weirdly as well, but its not as worse as the music. My smile grows but then I see Pane, but he's not alone. That Tetia has gotten close, too close. They're laughing together, not even paying attention to me. But why should I care? I'm the onr who let him go. I guess I'm too boring for him. But them two look perfect. In a glance, Pane sees me and his is expression is the total opposite. Before he moves, I get lost in the crowd. I tell myself not to cry, toughen up. I cannot waste my time making stupid mistake like him. How can someone who is like the devil, look and be like an angel. That's what hurts most.

The party continues, but I ask for an early night. Androids take me back and take guard at the sides of my room. I open the door and put the dress in the closet. Taking a moment to absorb it. I take of the make-up and wash my hair. The whole time, since I saw both Pane and Tetia together, I feel a heavy rock in my chest pulling down. Doesnt even give releif as I sleep. Very lighlty and slowly, sleep descends and gives me a last picture of Pane. Will I ever forget him?. . . . . . .

I wake up sore but my sleep has regained. I actually woke at 10 and I already know I missed breakfast. I take a shower and study myself in the mirror. I realize my hair has grown a little longer
, but don't decide to cut. I don't deserve to be punished for him. I put on a black top with a jacket and jeans. I try a.thin line of eye liner and some mascara.

I get ready to walk outside expecting to see androids, but no, its Pane. I dont even plan to meet his eyes as I walk down the hall. "Your not a morning person.", he says but I stay quiet. "Listen, I dont want to talk to you about forgiveness, okay. I just want to know if you can at least talk to me once in a while. Or we can be friends. I dont want to be avoided by you no more. It just feels......... Uncomfortable.", he shifts a little and I am finally succesful in not laughing. "Lets start off like this. Do you like her?", now I'm focusingon his eyes for the honest truth. "Yes, as a friend. But I would never get as close as you.", he says. This gives me a little relief, but things might change.

Through every time we meet each other, he tries to get me in a conversation. In some Id answer but skake them off or wont speak any further. But when Tetia comes by, he stops to greet her and eventually has to run to keep up with me. As we walk the hall ti the music room, she comes by again and I turn the corner and make it through the door.

I seat down next to the piano and stare out the window. I cant help but let the tears fall. Am I jealous or just afraid of losing him? Im the one who let him go and now look what I put myself in to? He comes in and I quickly wipe the tears off. "Could you stop doing that? Your always running away from me. Every time she comes around.", he says and I can tell he is angry. "Could you leave me alone.", I try to lower my voice so he wont notice that I was crying. "No.", his response surprises me. Maybe I'm getting used to the answer being yes. Even though I'm angry, I take his response and sit down and run my fingers through the keys before pressing them. He walks behind me and watches me play.