SHREK X SONIC 💚💙

Chapter 4: The Return

a/n: quick warning there is gun violence and aggressive verbal fighting in this chapter

The doctors in the room all screamed, throwing chairs at the horrific creature as the lights began to flicker oniminously. The red man picked up his phone quickly, and called the police. 

"HELP!! THERE'S AN UGLY ASS MONSTER ON THE LOOSE!!!!!!!!"
"On my way. Hold tight." The voice on the phone sounded familiar to Sonic, but like whatever. 

Suddenly, the door busted open... there stood, a beefy green ogre. 

"WHAT THE FUCK." Sonic and Shrek both screamed at the same time.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!?!??" Sonic screamed in shock, as Shrek stared at the creature crawling around on the floor.

"Um.. well I can't really focus with that ugly ass fuck crawling around leaving a slime trail behind it like a god damn snail on the floor, but basically you made me so fucking depressed I decided to actually get productive with my life, I save people now and solve crimes." Shrek said professionally, leaving the whole room speechless.

"Okay that wasn't necessary. Can you fucking help? I get that I screwed everything up.. but I just birthed that threatening creature and I want it gone. It was supposed to be our child.. but. You know." Sonic sighed, refusing to make eye contact with Shrek. 

"NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU DIDN'T ABUSE DRUGS! I'M SICK OF YOU, SONIC. I REALLY FUCKING AM." Shrek reached into his pocket, and pulled out a massive AK-47. He shot the creature with no hesitation, as the whole room let out the loudest in sync gasp ever.

"Okay!! Well, now that that's done and over with, I'd like to have a moment with my ex. Can we go outside?" 

"Of course.. um.. do what you need to do." The red man (Mario) said sadly, as he looked down at the creature that was now having a seizure.

Sonic slammed the hospital doors behind him, as Shrek followed him to the parking lot. It was currently raining, making it hard for Shrek to see.

"SCREW YOU SONIC. YOU MESSED EVERYTHING UP. I'M FUCKING DEPRESSED BECAUSE OF YOU." 
"I'm highly aware. Can you shut up? You're the one who's screaming and made our child come out fucking ugly. You dumbass ogre looking swamp monster. You probably deep fry slugs or some shit, and I just don't know about it."
Shrek stood there speechless, not knowing anything else to say. 

"You know.. I don't want to fight with you right now Sonic." Shrek said in exhaustion, as he stared down at his feet. He tried to make a dramatic and lame exit, but ended up tripping on a rock and faceplanted on the ground like a dumbass. 

"Shrek.. you stupid bitch."