Tw: religious trauma in a way
And I may say I wanna die to be done with all of this and even mean it.
But there is a part of Me scared of death.
Scared that my creator might punish me
Scared that I will burn alive in my grave.
Scared that my sins won't let me be in peace.
Scared that the one God who was supposed to love all HATES ME.
Scared that I will be all alone again.
Sacred that maybe all that from when I was alive was okay.
That it was normal.
Sacred that even I death I shall not find acceptance.
It leaves a hollow ache in my chest.
I'm sacred of my only way out.
What a shame I am .
