Battle Wounds: Solangelo Soulmate AU

TWENTY-SIX

A/N: TW in this chapter for heavy self harm and suicidal thoughts and such. It's really sad tbh, so don't read it if your feeling down unless your a masochist like I am and like to make yourself sad. I actually cried writing it if thats any indication of how sad it is. (No deaths though, I promise)

NICO POV:
At one in the morning, I finally leave my room after lying and staring at the ceiling for hours. I feel completely numb and tingly everywhere, and though I know Will is probably asleep I decide to check anyway. I know I shouldn't do what I want to do, so Will is the next best option. I haven't decided yet if I wanting him to be asleep or not. I just want to feel something, even if it is just someone next to me.

I open his door a crack and peer in to see Will fast asleep in bed, just like I had figured. He had fallen asleep with his book on his chest and his reading light on over his shoulder. I thought about going to turn it off for him and maybe giving him a blanket, but I didn't want to wake him up.

I go to the bathroom and dig around in the cabinet under the sink where I know Will has hidden his razor for shaving from me. He really should have known I'd find it if he put it in such an obvious place, but he probably didn't know the sink with all the cleaning supplies was an obvious place knowing him.

I pull it out and pause a little when I realize I'm gonna have to break it. It doesn't matter, he'll find out what I'm doing in the morning either way when he changes and sees his arm. I break it open and the blades fall on the counter with a far too loud ching that cuts through the silence of the night.

Before I have time to consider the consequences I drag the blade across my skin, watching the blood ooze from my skin numbly. I do that over and over and over again until the stinging is far too strong for me to be able to ignore. Then I watch the blood drip off and into the sink mesmerizingly. I make another cut along the side, deeper than I normally do just so I can watch the blood drip down the drain.

Finally, I put the broken razor away in the bag under the sink, keeping one blade for myself to hide. I rinse off my arm from the blood, but it just keeps coming and coming.

"Fanculo," I curse under my breath and look under the sink for the first aid kit Will has always used on me. I find it and rip it open, trying to apply pressure on the cuts with some gauze but my hands are too small to cover them all at once. Finally, I give up and decide to just wrap my arm with the gauze underneath and hope that will stop the bleeding. I'm too tired to worry about sitting here until they stop on their own.

Once I've shabbily wrapped my arm I put the kit away and head back to my room, feeling slightly dizzy but in the best way possible. I hide the blade, and then go to bed. I don't even change out of my clothes before I collapse on my bed pull the covers up and fall asleep.

"Nico!" A voice shouts while they shake me awake frantically. "Nico!"

I force my eyes open and look up and see Will looking down at me with concern and, is that fear? He has tears streaming down his cheeks.

I grunt in response and try to just go back to sleep but he shakes me up again.

"Don't you dare go back to sleep," he scolds pulling the covers off me.

He gasps and slaps his hand over his mouth. I force myself to look down to see what he's upset about and startle a bit at the sight of blood. I had taken off my hoodie and not put it back on last night, so the bloody bandages around my arm are easy to spot.

"Nico," Will chokes. "Sit up, I'll be right back."

He hurries out and I hear him start rummaging through the bathroom hastily.