Esme’s POV
His hand lingered on mine, a simple friendly gesture, but in that moment it meant much more to me. I knew I was shaking, but I tried to form words anyways. I don’t know why, but I knew I could trust him, and I was sick of keeping my past from everyone.
“Do you know Tate Gandee?” I finally managed to ask, my words coming out clearer than I expected. I took a deep breath, not knowing how he would react to what I was going to reveal to him. I didn’t know if he would care or not, but I was telling him anyways.
“Yeah, I do track with him, and we used to play football together. Why?”
His voice was that of pure curiosity, and I knew he wanted to know more.
“Did you also know that we dated?” my tone was hesitant…making sure I didn’t say too much too soon. His expression morphed into shock, but he kept my gaze.
“Really?”
“Surprising, right?”
“Well it’s just that…he’s a jock and you’re so…” he paused trying to find the correct term of my ‘clique.’
“Weird? Freakish? Bad?” I filled in the blank for him.
“No Esme…it’s just no one at our school ever seems to date outside of our groups.”
“Well we did…” I paused again; finally ready to get to the point of it all. “He was great at first…everything was great. But you have no idea how quickly things can change. People can change.”
“So what went wrong?” by the tone of his voice, I knew he was hooked into the conversation. I knew he actually cared.
“What do you think of him? As a person I mean…do you think he’s nice? Are you two mates?”
“I don’t really talk to him…but he seems like an okay guy.”
“Yeah…thought you’d say that.” I broke our long-going gaze, now focusing my attention on our touching hands. “It was at the back to school dance last year…”
“What was? What happened?” the eagerness in his tone let me know I needed to continue.
“Well I lost my virginity that night…” I trailed off, my voice becoming distant.
“He raped you?!” Liam practically shouted his eyes wide with fear.
“No I wanted to…somehow he talked me into it. But it was after that little get together that my intimate feelings toward him turned into fear I guess you could say.” His silence was a gesture for me to continue, so I did…
“He hit me…not enough to do serious damage, but it still scared me. After the dance, he tried to get with me again, but I said no. He was a little too rough the first time and I just wasn’t ready to do it again. That apparently made him angry…so hit slapped me. The sad thing is, I didn’t end the relationship there. I let it continue for a while longer. Because you’re right I didn’t have it handled in the ice cream shop, and I couldn’t handle it with Tate; I’m defenseless.” I let a silence fall between us, I watched his jaw clench the whole time I was telling him. I could only imagine what was going through his head. “Liam, you have to keep this a secret okay? You are the only person I’ve ever told this about.”
