He's cold, insensitive and rude... But why can't I stay away?
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My love life was the last of my problems. Last year, bullies, penny less... Senior year didn't present itself exactly as a dream. And everything gets even worst when...
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"Hey." I mumbled lowly, clearing my throat when it clenched at the sight of the gravestones, as always. With a wavering breath I carefully crouched between both, trying to mess the beautiful dress Norah's lend me as less as possible. "It's me again." I smiled, picturing my parents grinning down at me and placed the buckets of flowers down while picking up the dried ones. "Here, lilies and roses. As usual."
I pushed my weight back to sit on my heels and grazed the soft white of the marble where their names were sculped. My fingers traced it with this pinch in my heart.
"It felt like I can't come often enough. There's always too much to say... Too much you should have seen." I felt that familiar sting in my eyes and blinked rapidly. "Anyway, I have good news. Remember how I'd given up with USC? Well, that's changed." I cheered, feeling more and more light at the happy topic. "They agreed to give me a chance to enter the scholarship program if I do a decent presentation. And it's... it's today."
Today.
It felt damn surreal that the day had finally arrived.
I took in a shaky breath, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I'm so nervous. Really, like my stomach could explode at any moment, and my limbs felt shaky and sweaty and..." I sighed, controlling my ramble. "Well, you get it."
I brushed the marble free of leaves and dust, careful not to get any of it on me.
Today was a big day, a decesive day that would mark my furture. And they should be here. I wanted my parents there to presence my first exposition, to hold my hand and to hug me no matter what when it was all done.
But that wasn't possible.
I blinked rapidly. "I've worked so much, and I think I might get a chance. Choosing the topic was so hard; but once it was done, everything else fell right into it's place. Granny'd helped a lot. Really. I don't think it could had worked out without her and was always so sensitive... It's funny how she won't stop praising the project and says it's on the blood." I laughed and shook my head. "I just hope it all turned up alright. It would be nice for one thing to go well after all. That would be perfect."
I keep telling them about the exposition, about my nerves and how important this event was. I also update them about Connor. About us being a thing now, even though we still hadn't talked about tags and boundaries -but I wasn't going to tell them that. So as far as they know, we were together.
I like to think that they would have liked him.
Well, they would have liked Norah for sure, and Connor might have had a rough start with his cold demeanor and all but once over the first impressions I'm sure they would have approved.
Granny approved and she was way tougher than them.
I could almost imagine my mother smug glance, maybe a little disappointed that I didn't end with Brett like her and Julia shipped since we were little; but I like to think that in a world where they wouldn't have died it would also be a world where I didn't get bullied. Or a world where I had the guts to call out for help before it got out of hand like it did in my reality.
