He's cold, insensitive and rude... But why can't I stay away?
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My love life was the last of my problems. Last year, bullies, penny less... Senior year didn't present itself exactly as a dream. And everything gets even worst when...
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"Hey." I whispered, swallowing the knot in my throat but only making my chest tightened further. Carefully I lowered myself to the grass, seating facing the marmol graves and as always their names on it made me felt ten times loner. Sighing shakily I left the sport bag to my side and and clunched the flowers with both hands now. "I... I know I hadn't visit in a while, but I've been... distracted."
Yeah, I knew they couldn't actually hear me, but wasn't it better to think they did? Somewhere, wherever they where, they keep watching over me and that was reassuring. But at the same time I felt even more ashamed for being this failure.
I forced out a smile. "I brought you lilies." I placed them against the left marmol, brusing away the small sticks and leaves that gathered there. "I know their were you favourites, Papa, you always brought them for Mama even tho you know she favored roses better and smiled all the way." and then turned to the other. "And so, of course, roses for you." and place the red bucked in Mama's side. I let my fingers lingered over the cold surface where their names were writed. "Guess somethings never change, uh?" my throat closed off.
I sighed, cleaning the grave from dust and dry flowers Granny'd brought two weeks ago, I think. The place was nice and they usually kept it clean and take care of the grass, but it still need some extra attention from time to time.
"There." I smiled a bit once everything was settle and I leaned back sitting on my heels to examine the graves. My heart squeezed. "Feels like forever since I came here, uh?" I chuckled saddly fiddling with the strands of grass in front of my knees. "I'm sorry. Everything is been so crazy lately. There were..." I gulped. "There had been a couple guys messing with me in school, but it's over now. Granny is taking care of everything and... it kinda feels like it's going to be better. At least I hope so.
The girl that... was mean to me had been expelled. Hopefully forever but there are rumors her parents are aready putting up a fight to get her back in. I don't know.I guess I hope she stays away from now on but... I don't know." I bit my lip and lowered my gaze realizing how many times I was saying that. "It's just... You remember Brett? The youngest son of Logan and Julia. You used to like him so much." I winced at the painful memories. I could almost picture my mother frowning as my father tilted his head so I keep going. "I'm so confused about him. He's been different lately. He isn't that mean, and he keep saying he want me back but... But then go and kiss Jade! After she did... that!" I shook my head, confused. There was no sense in Brett's manners. "But the next moment he's back claiming he didn't know nothing and got her expelled. I don't understant him anymore!"
It felt good, to rant about it. Even if it was with someone who couldn't actually answer back. I let all my restrained frustration go on them and told my parents everything that's been going on lately. From the meaningless pranks to the hardcore bullying, not entering in details of what actually happen in the changing room 'cause, in all honestly, it hurt so much to voiced it. I felt double humiliated every time it came to my mind.
