Bleed out /// Wilbur x reader (fem)

Chapter 7 // anxiety sets in

~big trigger warning for this chapter~

You and Wilbur sit down at the table just as your food arrives, while you two are eating you're constantly watching your surroundings as your Anxiety grows. Wilbur keeps asking if you're okay but you brush it off and tell him you're fine as you look at your surroundings once again. you analyse everyone and what they're doing making sure there's no one you know, you don't want to be surprised by another person. As you and Wilbur are finishing up your meals he looks at you "do you want me to walk you home after this" "yes please will" you say politely "okay I noticed you looking over your surroundings multiple times, I can tell you're anxious" he points out.

You both walk back to your house and as you approach the door your Anxiety gets worse and for some reason you didn't want to be in your room alone, you knew it was because your ex was in town but you ignored that as being the reason, you didn't want to admit you were still scared of him.

"Hey will, can you sleep at mine tonight I feel really anxious" you say timidly "of Course, y/n I can sleep on your bedroom floor if you want" he says, you felt bad. "you don't have to sleep on the floor you can sleep on the sofa downstairs" you say offering him a comfier option "no its okay y/n, I can tell you don't want to stay in your room alone" he calmly explains "thank you will" you hug him.

~nightmare~

your ex grabs you and shoves you against a wall he had something in his hand you couldn't see what it was, your vision was blurry. as you fight back you hit the thing he was holding out of his hand and it smashes against the floor, you assume it was a glass. as you try to escape his grasp he pins you to the wall and slaps you hard across the face.

 You woke up in a cold sweat and you were crying, you gasp for as if you had been holding your breath for a long time, you forgot Wilbur was on the floor just beside your bed sleeping. you started crying uncontrollably, waking Wilbur up.

"y/n what's wrong" he says worried, he goes to hug you. you flinch as his arms come near you, he backs away and looks confused at you. "Will I'm sorry" you say in a croaky voice, "are you scared y/n, what happened" he says, "I had a nightmare of what my ex did to me, I get them almost every night" you say quietly as you burst into tears again. "oh y/n I'm so sorry you don't deserve this, can I hug you?" he says calmly, you nod and he pulls you into a hug. You both stay silent for a while just hugging each other.

"I think I'm ready to go back to sleep, I'm just so drained" you say almost whispering "okay y/n are you sure you'll be okay" he says quietly. "yeah I think so" you smiled warmly, he played back down as you did as well "goodnight y/n" he said sweetly "night Will" you smiled.

You were tossing and turning for an hour before you fell asleep again, this time you didn't have a nightmare it seems that Wilbur calmed you down so much your stress had gone down, you and Wilbur both slept until about 2 pm, although you were the first to wake up. you noticed that Wilbur was still asleep so you went on your phone to keep yourself distracted for a while.

"what time is it" he says in a deep morning voice, "Good afternoon sleepyhead, its 2pm" you let out a small laugh "oh well good afternoon" he lets out a sleepy laugh "shall I make us food" you say with a smile, he nods half asleep. you both decide on toast, you go downstairs to make the toast. just as you're buttering the toast he comes down the stairs and sits at the table in the kitchen. "thank you y/n you didn't have to" he says smiling "I know I wanted to, its the least I could do you helped me so much last night thank you" a smile creeping onto your face "honestly y/n its okay".

two hours go by and you've just been chatting about everything and anything, he looks at the time "I'm sorry y/n, I've got to go I have to record the new ep, you can come with me if you want to" he says softly "its okay I need a shower, enjoy recording though" you say with a smile "okay y/n ill give you a call later" he says with a warm smile "okay" you say walking him to the door.

As you say your goodbyes and close the door you feel a massive feeling of guilt and embarrassment about last night, you never wanted him to see you like that, you ran up the stairs and turned on the shower, you grabbed a blade from your drawer and cut.

you were 3 days clean, that was massive to you but you had to get your emotions out. the guilt you felt after it was like no other feeling, you brushed it off and hopped in the shower.

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authors notes

hi guys if you're dealing with self harm of any form please reach out to someone you trust, once you get the help you need the better it gets trust me I've struggled with it too. you can reach out to me as well I will try to help you, stay safe and look after yourselves I love you remember that, get something to eat and drink if you haven't.

~word count: 1000 words~