All This Time

Chapter 23

The song of the chapter I recommend is
Still beating- by Mac Demarco.
Enjoy!
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BUCKY POV

We stayed like that for a good moment and I draped my eyes all over her beautiful features.

Her little dimples. The crinkles around her eyes when she smiles. The pink flush of her skin when she's nervous. Her gorgeous hair that looks as beautiful if not better than before with lighter streaks. Her pretty hazel eyes that look like honey under the sunlight. Her peach plump lips that I just want to feel against mine. If only for one last time. Her vanilla scent that I find so intoxicating.

She's stunning and I want nothing more than to show her. Prove it to her. Show her how much I love her. How much I long for her. How much I've longed for her.

It may have only been two years for me but it felt like an eternity without her.

Just then as I considered for probably the third time now these past two days about kissing her. I was going to until Sam walked up and ruined the moment.

Typical.

"Jane! There you are...my family is killing to see you and say goodbye."

"You guys are done?" She asks.

"Well, we've done what we can for now."

"Oh."

"Now come on before they kill me for not letting you know they want to say goodbye."

"What about me?" I ask.

I know I didn't talk much to anyone but I got the sense that they appreciated me being there.

I did smile to literally everyone.

"Did I say the staring machine? Nah, you can hang back old man," He says to which Jane smacks him lightly on the arm.

"Ow," He says looking at her shocked.

I just glare at him until he agrees to let me tag on with them.

*

Some...most of his family had left but the rest of us stayed back a bit trying to do a bit more touch-ups.

I saw Jane roaming around the rest of Sam's family, just chatting it up before they left. Sam and I decided to take a break.

"Here," He says sitting down and handing me a beer.

"Thanks," I say accepting it.

I looked to my far right and saw Jane smiling and chatting with a woman.

I smiled to myself and remembered our conversation. How much it meant to me to hear that she had already suspected I was dreaming of that type of stuff. I remember being so scared to tell her about it. Like she would judge me for some reason. That she would think I was a monster but instead she embraced and accepted me. She didn't care. I feel like I keep forgetting that she doesn't judge me for what I did. That she understand that I had no control.

Well..hopefully, she doesn't. I keep worrying about the fact that she doesn't seem to acknowledge what I did. A part of me wants to ignore it and be happy she's opening up but another part keeps telling me to stay alert. That she's not over everything. That perhaps she's in denial. That I'd be crazy to even hope we could go back to how things were with her knowing what I did to her parents.