That night, I went home without Julian. It felt weird, but I couldn't bring myself to be around him after what happened.
His actions made me start thinking about what Simone had told me when I first started talking to Julian.
He's not good for you. He's abusive.
I didn't think twice about it, since Julian never seemed like the type. But now, things were different. He was definitely capable.
I placed my keys on the rack, immediately heading into my bedroom. This night was far too much, and I couldn't handle staying there any longer. Julian got violent, something I never thought he could do.
I walked into my bedroom, turning the shower on and warming it up before getting ready to grab clothes from the bedroom. But to my surprise, Julian was outside of the bathroom, sitting on the bed.
"Hey." he smiled up at me. A sad, hurt smile that I hated seeing.
I decided to just ignore him, walking over to the wardrobe and looking through it for a pair of clothes.
"I'm sorry. I really, really am."
"For what?" I kept my eyes glued to the wardrobe as I scanned through it.
"Whatever just happened. I lost control, and I-"
"Yeah, you lost control. You fucking hit him, Julian."
"I know, and I'm-"
"What's that supposed to make me think of you? I've never seen you like that before." I didn't want to say what was about to come out. But it came out anyways. "What if one day, you lose control with me? What if you-" I let out a long breath, closing my eyes.
When I opened them, I turned around to see Julian towering over me. He looked sad, like he had been crying. There wasn't a scent of alcohol anywhere near him, which told me he hadn't been drinking.
He pulled me closer to him. I hesitated only for a moment, then wrapping my arms around him.
"I'd never do that." he said, almost in a mumble.
I felt like now was the time to bring up what was on my mind. I pulled out of the hug for a moment.
"Jules, Simone told me something... weird. I've been wanting to ask you about it."
He nodded, then smiling and heading back to the edge of the bed to sit. He took a deep breath as he sat on the edge.
I sat next to him, grabbing his hand and interlocking our fingers in my lap.
Truthfully, this was scary for me to bring up. I wasn't scared of him, but if I said something wrong I could possibly lose him.
"She said you had an 'abusive past', I never gave it a thought until... Y'know. Last night."
He didn't look at me, but I could see his expression change a bit. It was a look of anger mixed with sadness. His grip on my hand tightened.
"Well, did you?" I asked after a few moments of no response. His let go of his tight grip at the sound of my voice.
"No."
"Then why'd she say that?"
"We dated."
I scoffed, not believing what he was saying. There was no reason for him to lie about it, though. When he kept a straight face, I realized he was being completely serious.
"You and Simone dated?"
He laughed, probably realizing how stupid it sounded. "Yeah. We did. But that was way back in highschool. She was a sophomore, I was a junior."
"Well, okay. But that still doesn't tell me why she said what she said." I was getting angry now, impatient.
"I have no fucking idea. I thought we were fine now."
And then she walked in.
"Jade, I hope you don't mind-" she opened the door, stepping in and closing the door behind me. She seemed to have missed Julian completely, and then she paused as she turned around to face me. She looked to Julian in shock.
"Oh, hey Julian." she pursed her lips together, then looking at me again. "Jade. I need to talk to you, privately."
Why would she need to talk to me? I got up, following her out of the bedroom again as we both stood face to face outside in the hall.
"What?" I asked. I didn't want her to know that I was upset with her. I didn't even know if I was upset with her. Maybe she had a good reason for not telling me? I mean, it's not like it would've made me very happy to hear it, anyway.
"Nick said you guys got in a fight, so what the hell is he doin' here?"
I scoffed, rolling my eyes. That's what she was worried about. "Tell me, why do you care so much about what happens between Jules and I?"
"I don't." she mumbled after a long pause, crossing her arms.
I didn't know whether I should mention what I was about to mention, but fuck it.
"I know about you and Julian."
"What the hell are you talking about?" she sounded angry now. Defensive. That's how I knew something was up.
"Don't play dumb, Simone." I leaned against the wall. "But, hey, I'm not mad."
She stared blankly for a moment, as if she were caught in a lie. "Why is this important?"
"Do you still have feelings for him, Simone? I'm begging for the truth. It would explain why you care so much about our relationship." I took a deep breath, becoming quiet now. "It definitely explains the lies about the abuse and shit."
"Fuck this. I'm out." she said, pushing herself off of the wall and opening the door to the bedroom again. "I came to get the last of my shit."
She had been planning on moving out for a long time, and she'd come and get a few things at a time whenever she visited. By the looks of it, this would be her last visit. I would be upset, but I never expected our friendship to last. The Julian situation was just another reason for it to end.
"Go ahead." I called after her, then following her into the bedroom. Julian was still sitting on the bed, obviously unaware of what he should say. I shook my head at him, signaling for him to just keep his mouth shut. It would just make right now more difficult if he spoke up. Besides, what else was there to say?
I watched as Simone hurried through the closet, throwing things into a large laundry basket that no one had been using, sitting in the corner of the room. Once she finished clearing out her things, she picked up the basket, smiling at me. It wasn't any sincere, friendly smile. It was cruel and hateful.
"I hope you two live happily ever after." she said, adding an overdramatic input as she pushed open the door with her foot. Julian and I tried our best to contain our humor as we waited for the front door to close. When it did, we both erupted into laughter.
"Jesus Christ, what was her problem?" Julian asked, leaning back onto the mattress with a groan. I laid down next to him, propping my elbow up as I looked down at him, his hands still covering his face. He let them fall down the length of his face, looking at me with a smirk.
"Let's stop talking about her. Who cares." I grinned, leaning down towards him. Our faces were inches apart as I scanned his face for a moment.
"I love you." I said almost in a whisper.
He chewed on his bottom lip a bit before reaching his arm toward my face, putting his hand on my cheek as he leaned in, our lips touching. It felt like forever since we had last been alone like this, although it had really just been a few days. I couldn't believe that I had accused him of something so horrible just a few minutes ago, and now we had already moved past it. It was as if it never happened in the first place.
***I'm so v sorry it's so short. I had to update it, I've been busy lately. School, job. Ya feel? This chapter isn't amazing but the next one should be better:) tysm for all of the reads omfg!!<3
