Confident

I hate Thursdays

I fucking hate Thursdays and here's why:

1. They're always the day before Friday, which, automatically means it's going to suck.

Take last Thursday for example. Somebody took my yogurt I specifically had in the fridge! Only on a Thursday.

2. I always get the WORST news on Thursdays.

Two thursdays ago, my brother called me and told me that he was in the hospital. So I had to go and pick him up and take him back to my Grandma's. For fucking breaking his nose. THURSDAY.

A hospital called me and told my my father died, ON A THURSDAY!

My childhood pet Lucy, the goldfish, died on, guess what? A FUCKING THURSDAY!

My mom left me, ON A THURSDAY!

And guess what, my ex broke up with me on— I bet you can't figure it out.... A FUCKING THURSDAY!

3. I always end up doing something completely fucking stupid on a Thursday.

One time, I decided to learn how to do a backflip in one day. Instead, I had to wear a neck brace for 3 weeks. I DID IT ON A THURSDAY!

I don't know why, but Thursday's have something against me. I don't know why! But for this Thursday, I am wrapping myself in bubble wrap. Can't hurt this pretty face before I meet the big boss. But sadly, I couldn't help the bad luck of Thursday as soon as I woke up.

My alarm went off at 7 like it always does, but today, it DECIDED NOT TO! Along with the other 20 THAT I SET THE NIGHT BEFORE! Ugh! And to be even worse! I woke up at 11 and slowly got ready until I realized I was hours late for work. But then I also remembered that I'm the boss and I can work on my own time, so I stopped worrying.

I almost got into a head on collision as I drove to my cartel location, and I was just about ready to rip the person's head off as they swereved right in front of me. THURSDAYS!

Entering the office, I just about broke my neck on the rug, and I my pinky toe kicked the corner of the wall, which was fucking painful.

My computer crashed right as I was about to beat my solitaire game.

I spilled coffee all over my brand new suit after just buying it.

My food burnt the top of my mouth and I couldn't taste anything for the rest of the day. I couldn't taste my fucking strawberries and I was about ready to kill someone.

When I tried checking on my hotel employees, I slipped on the wet floor nobody put a sign on, and landed flat on my face. Nobody even asked if I was okay. But I just stood up and kept walking like nothing happened.

I accidentally called a little kid a dumb cunt. I got reamed by the mother about that, and I may have punched her in the face. But anyways.

I tried to go to the gym today, but nobody was inside, and I then realized it was closed. Ugh.

Instead, I went to McDonald's and ended up throwing up for most of the evening. Until I just gave up, climbed under my covers and watched the Notebook. Uh I hate Thursdays.