Jessica Banks worked for her father in the biggest mafia cartel in the USA. Upon his death, she took over and became the ruler over most of the mafias across the world. But will her choices affect the way they view her cartel? She makes decisions, a...
There was no way I could prepare myself for today. Every time I moved, I burst into tears. I had to somehow make it seem like I didn't love him anymore, and it was going to tear my heart into tiny little pieces. James had left early this morning for an early jog, and when he came back inside to see me bawling, the hairs on his neck immediately stood up.
"Doll whats wrong?" He asked, rushing to my side, "why are you crying?"
His eyes worriedly searched my face, his hands finding a way to connect to me through skin to skin contact, "Baby you're scaring me.. are you hurt?" And I just sobbed even louder, "Jessica you're fucking scaring me what the fuck is going on?"
"I-," I stuttered, "I c-can't do this."
"You can't do what darling? What can't you do?" He asked.
"I h-have to b-break up with you," I said as I lost all of the breath in my lungs.
I have never seen so much fear in James' eyes, "wha? What do you mean you have to break up with me?" And I couldn't breathe. My hand was on my chest, trying to connect me to the real world, to bring me out of this nightmare, but I never woke up. My legs and hands were shaking, and I couldn't breathe. "Baby I need you to breathe. Please just try to breathe, you're scaring me. Please just breathe."
"I c-can't," I heaved, feeling like every breath was a weight on my chest. His hands rubbed my arms as he searched my face.
"Honey breathe with me on three," he whispered, "1... 2... 3.. in and out baby." And when I got a shallow breath, he gave me a small smile, "atta girl. Keep doing those breaths okay? Count to three. And I want you to close your eyes." I closed my eyes as I nodded my head, my hands trying to find any way to know I'm still with him. I couldn't do this in person. I had to make a note. "Okay, okay. Now focus on my voice doll. Just focus on my voice. Listen to the room and tell me the first three things you hear. Really concentrate darling."
"Y-your v-v-voice," i stuttered, "the f-f-fan, t-the T-TV."
"Good girl!" He said softly, "now focus on the smell. What are two things you smell?"
"M-mint," I paused... catching a breath.
"It's okay babydoll take your time," he said softly.
"V-vanilla."
"Good. Good girl," he smiled, "now open your eyes and tell me the first thing you see."
I opened my eyes, "your eyes."
"There we go," he smiled, "all better."
"I-I'm sorry," I whispered, "I'm so sorry."
His hands made their way to my cheeks, "it's okay, it's okay. Don't be sorry. Don't be sorry darling. Now what's going on?"
"I c-can't tell you."
"Why?"
"Because they'll kill you," I whispered, "and I c-can't lose you!"
"You won't lose me," he whispered, "you won't lose me I promise."
"We're done Bucky," I said as my lip quivered, "we- we- we're done."
His lip started to shake as he stared at me in shock, "doll do- don't do this."
"I h-have to," I said as my voice broke, "I'm sorry."
"Baby no we can get through it together!" He exclaimed, following me through the halls as I made my way towards his front door, "Jessica baby please don't leave. Don't leave we can get through this just tell me what's going on!"
"I'm sorry Buck," I said as the tears started to fall, "but I have to do this alone."
"No don't leave me!" He exclaimed, tears running down his cheeks, "please! I love you!"
"And I'm doing this because I love you," I whispered, "I'm sorry." And I ran off to my car before driving off to the place my mother sent for me to meet her at. Immediately, I got a text from James, and I just about didn't look at it because I knew I would run straight back to him.
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I pulled to the side of the road, and I burst into tears. I just lost the one thing keeping me together. Will he forgive me? I don't know. But I will always love him.
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And I didn't have any idea what he sent me in those next few minutes. But I knew if I had received them, I wouldn't have left for Kansas.
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And I sobbed the entire way to Kansas City. Losing the love of my life.
I lost the one person I put my entire heart and soul into. My one and only. Because of my fucking mother. I couldn't lose him like I lost Rice. I couldn't do it. Because if James died, I die with him.
