The Solitude of an Emperor [TO BE UNPUBLISHED]

62 : Must not Budge

A day passed since Emperor Darya left the Imperial Palace to Duke Esteban’s hands. Both Lorenzo and Reginald heard about this and only Reginald was able to face Duke Esteban first, in disguise of greeting the first consort.

That time, Duke Esteban had just taken a meal for lunch when Reginald arrived at the Emperor’s office and greeted him. After greeting him, Reginald asked if he could help with the workload and of course, Duke Esteban would decline.

“Thank you for your concern, Your Highness, Casmiri. However, the Emperor specifically lent me this responsibility alone.”

Duke Esteban knows that Reginald is head over heels when it comes to drawing the Emperor’s attention and he must not let him take any workload on such important matters, especially that he is coming from an enemy kingdom. Who knows what Reginald is planning to do later if he found something he could use to his advantage? Darya specifically trusted him with the Empire so he must not disappoint her as well.

Reginald smiled, knowing what he meant. “I have a speculation that no one had been putting their trust in my ability which is quite disappointing on my part as a Crown Prince since birth.” He looked weak. “Is it because I am from Corstan Kingdom which had been the Empire’s long enemy?”

Duke Esteban and Sir Lavenorth got alert with his statement. If ever anyone heard that, the blame would particularly be shifted to the Empire for distrusting him. This is the first time Reginald pointed out what exactly is going on with him.

Seeing their reactions, Reginald continued, “But I have a marriage contract with the Emperor which basically can be interpreted as the two countries had settled the old scores. Thus, I am also part of the Largoth Empire and I am the second consort of the Emperor. Is this not discrimination against a fellow consort?”

Duke Esteban got silent, feeling that this man is targeting him and is questioning his authority as the first consort and as a Duke. Is this how this man acts in front of Her Majesty? He is basically insolent in his view but Reginald is also stating the truth which is making him lose face.

Duke Esteban stood up, “I apologize to have done such treatment to the Corstan Crown Prince.” He lowered his head for two seconds.

“I believe that it is my responsibility to heed the concern of anyone in this Empire. However, I could not just bear to hand such responsibility to the Corstan Crown Prince as I am a fellow citizen of the country. I am afraid that I might be questioned with how I prioritize my responsibilities if I hand such novel work to Your Highness. I hope that I could ease your perception about your treatment but if you’d like to help, then I have no way to refute such.”

“Lord Esteban—” Lavenorth was surprised to hear that from Duke Esteban. Before, Emperor Darya mentioned to him that Reginald must never handle national estate works. He must stop this at an instant.

But then Reginald spoke. “My pride is wounded that I could not choose a definite answer due to how you explained to me about responsibility, Duke Garrett. You are making me choose either I should be willing to help as a second consort of the Emperor or I should disregard my willingness to help as a Corstan Crown Prince pampered by the Largoth Empire.”

Lavenorth was unable to speak, not interrupting his speech.

“However, I am also touched by the Duke’s fairness in dealing with my concern. Now I think I have no way to help with the national estate as I am also afraid that I might cause trouble with your work. Thank you, Duke Garrett.” 

Reginald left the office with a smile on his face, excited that he had surprised them with just a few sentences. He did not expect that being with the Largoth Empire would be so interesting. Wouldn’t it be more interesting if he becomes the Emperor while the current Emperor will be his concubine? With this thought in mind, he started whistling while walking back to his room. His spirit is lifted.

Meanwhile, it is time for Lorenzo to go back to his unit. He went to the Emperor’s office and knocked. When Lavenorth opened the door for him, he came inside and flinched upon meeting Esteban’s eyes. He walked closer to the table and lowered his head.

“Greetings to the Great Duke of the Empire, Lord Garrett.” Lorenzo decided to just act normal because Lavenorth was present.

Seeing him this close and in a place where only one person can witness, Esteban felt embarrassed as he thought about their current standing. A father who is married to the same Emperor as his son. If people found out about their relationship, they would even drag the Emperor’s image with them. This relationship must never come to light to the public.

Looking at Lorenzo, he had really grown up. He almost could not believe that he was that little boy who would always smile when their eyes met. He still could remember how this boy looks up to him like he is a great man which in fact, he knows very well that he had never been a good man nor a good father. How he wished to spend more time for him… but… fate is just unimaginably unfair. He would be willing to be a father for him, worthy to be called father but his past sins… The past sins had become a tail that he could not get rid of. He could not grasp the overflowing guilt he had in his heart especially that he remembers how he maltreated Darya before. His whole life devoting himself to Darya is simply not enough for what he had done. He must diminish this guilt so he could sleep peacefully at night.

And because of these lingering feelings, he could not even check on his own son. He could not even become a good father to him.

“I am here to denounce that I will be going back to my unit in the barracks, my lord.” Lorenzo began to speak about his purpose. “I have been absent in my unit for days because of my hand injury caused by my training last time. I was instructed by Her Majesty to treat my wound in the Imperial Palace. As for the moment, the Imperial doctor informed me that I could now go back to my unit with some restrictions to not trigger the broken bone in my right hand.”

Worry painted on Esteban’s eyes but Lorenzo did not see it because he was looking down. He could not look at his father’s eyes because he would feel puzzled by his own feelings. When he looks into his father’s eyes, he feels his fatherly love and he does not like it. He resents this man for abandoning him and he does not want to change his feelings just after looking at his face. He had come this far to bring him down and all the years he worked to get his position will all be in vain if he forgives him.

What if his father apologizes?

He is most anxious if this time comes. He is afraid that if his father apologizes, he might really forgive him so he needs to distance himself from him as far as possible. 

Duke Esteban nodded his head in approval. He looked at Lorenzo’s hands that were full of calluses. And his right hand that had a bandage on. His heart felt like it was pinched. He does not like to see his son suffer— isn’t he the reason why he suffered? He really failed as a father.

“You can go back to your unit as I will be processing your missed days at work. I will send a doctor once a week to check on your hand until it is fully healed. I also advise you to not do vigorous activities that could stimulate your injury. Did the Imperial doctor prescribe some medicine? Do not forget to take one according to its schedule.”

Lorenzo panicked because of his father’s continuous advice. “Y-Yes, my lord.” 

“You can now depart. Please take care.”

Lorenzo nodded, lowered his head and immediately got out. As soon as the door was closed, he felt like his lungs released the tension and he could finally breathe in peace.

What was that? Was his father worried about him saying such words?

He held his beating chest and walked forward to calm himself down. He was puzzled about his feelings. How could he feel happy with just a few words that his father might not have said with meaning? 

No, he must not budge. He will not give in just because of a small expression of concern.

***
END OF CHAPTER 62
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