The Solitude of an Emperor [TO BE UNPUBLISHED]

38 : Confessions

"So tired," Darya leans towards Captain Theobarlt after he sits beside her.

They are currently in her personal garden to which she ordered to be full of peonies. They are sitting in the swing she specifically made for the two of them. In fact, she made that garden for her privacy which only Captain Theobarlt can enter without permission.

Captain Theobarlt moved his arm to her side to support her from leaning. He held her waist which he specifically realized how big his hand was to touch half of it.

"You are so small, Lysandra." He could not bear the fact that he wanted to say that to her a long time ago but only had the shamelessness now.

Darya was surprised to hear him say that, making her look up to him. But after seeing his flustered face, she chuckled. "You have been holding that since the beginning, am I right?"

"Yes. You feel like a little parrot. Fear would run through my veins whenever I held you with my arms, feeling like you would break like a glass."

Darya blushes. "It is good to hear you being more open to your feelings, Desmond."

"I..." He actually wanted to say something but suddenly he felt like he needed more time before he could confidently say it.

"Hmm?" Darya looks up to him because he suddenly gets quiet. She hops to the swing so she could reach for his hair and push it up to look at his eyes. Captain Theobarlt held her to the legs so she wouldn't fall.

"I am really curious about this, Desmond. Do your bangs not grow?" Darya was really curious that Captain Theobarlt's haircut stay the same since she met him. His hair covers his eyes and his nape.

Silence filled them like a crow just passed the two of them because of it.

"I... cut my hair every three weeks." He answered honestly which is making him embarrassed all of a sudden. Darya was the only one he told about it.

"Your scar..." Darya caresses his small scar to his temple. It looked like a deep cut that will be left there for the rest of his life. His scar was caused by a man throwing a bottle of alcohol towards him two years ago. He saved a child from being abused by his father.

She kissed his scar before messing up his hair. "I think you will look good with your hair up. But you also look good when it's down- it also looks good when it is long," she groaned upon realization, "you look good in whatever hairstyle, Desmond."

This made Captain Theobarlt laugh because of the different expressions Darya has made. He specifically liked the sulking one, like she got irritated by herself because she did not like her decision.

"I will cut my hair if you like, Lysandra."

"But you do not like other people to see your eyes right?"

He shook his head, comfortably. "I have no right to change one's prejudice as they believe what they have known. I also have no problem with every hearsay because I know that it will not matter how I should grow as a person."

Her lips curved wide, feeling proud of his principles. She touched his cheeks and caressed it. "I like that, Desmond." She looked at his red eyes that looked gentle no matter how she looked at it.

"Desmond, I feel like I have met my fate when I look at your eyes..."

"I feel like... I..." She does not know but suddenly her eyes are watering. "I feel like I have felt home again."

Seeing Darya's tears fall from her eyes to his cheeks, suddenly, it felt like something just appeared in his memory. With the same sight. With the same angle of a woman who's crying above him. His heart suddenly stung. What was that?

He reached his hand to wipe her tears. He pulled her to embrace her. "You are my home as well, Lysandra..." He suddenly has more to say and more to express. "When I see you, I find myself moving my feet towards you. When I hear your name, I feel like my life would awaken and that I have to be with you because I am meant by your side."

He held her tight, suddenly feeling nervous that they might fall apart again. "I feel nothing but love when I am with you."

They found themselves confessing their feelings towards each other. Their genuine feelings of being with each other. Their complicated feelings that they, themselves, do not understand. Just what is in between them that they could not figure out?

Just like that, Darya was on her way to her room to rest because she spent all day long with Captain Theobarlt. She even had a time to go outside the walls to have fun in the town. The two of them went to Alluka's house to visit Ejila. She also looked for her son and even learned how to take care of a child.

She came back to the palace late at night as Captain Theobarlt spent the night with her. Darya completely forgot about Crown Prince Reginald who had been waiting for her all day. When Reginald was informed that Darya finally arrived at her room, he was already not allowed to go inside as he was also informed that she was with Captain Theobarlt.

That night, Crown Prince Reginald lost his mind and he could not sleep while thinking about nothing. That was the first time he felt empty inside his head and he could only think about staring at his ceiling while lying on the bed.

The next morning, he is glaring at Captain Theobarlt who just left Darya's room. He was almost ignored by Captain Theobarlt but he blocked his path while putting his hands on his waist. His eyes were raging in envy. However, in Captain Theobarlt's point of view, Reginald looks like a golden cat that is in a fight with another cat. He let Reginald ramble but in fact, he never understood any of them because he refused to understand it.

"Hey, are you even listening?!" Reginald exclaimed after grabbing his collar, feeling really mad that Captain Theobarlt is looking at him like he is some weak man.

"This is really impossible that the Crown Princess would want a disbeauty to the nobility. Tell me what sorcery you use towards Her Highness!"

Captain Theobarlt picked him up like a cat, lifting him up from the ground like a weightless man. This shocked Reginald, making him feel embarrassed that he looked so pathetic now. So then Captain Theobarlt put him down when Reginald let go of his collar. When Reginald looked up to him again, his eyes went wide upon seeing Captain Theobarlt's left eye that was not covered with his hair anymore. He does not know but he felt like his tongue was glued to his mouth that he could not speak anymore.

"Please lower your voice, the Crown Princess is still in her beautiful dreams." Captain Theobarlt calmly commanded before passing him.

He was left there, speechless.

***
END OF CHAPTER 38
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