The Solitude of an Emperor [TO BE UNPUBLISHED]

END : The 14th Life

“Remember that this is your fate, it is unpredicted,” Fergus.

“I will remember that, Fergus.”

“But you will meet the other four of them in your future lives. You will love them or you will be with them.”

“It is alright.”

“Are you ready to be back?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. I will now bring you back but you may experience short term memory loss but you will later remember it.”

Darya nodded.

“You call me when I am needed.”

“Really? I think you are going to be busy for a while…” Her eyes landed on Azure and their hands were intertwined. She did not expect Fergus to take Azure along when she would be sent back. Is it for fear of losing Azure again?

“Of course, I would be busy with my Azure—” He was about to kiss Azure but he received a light slap on his cheek and then a glare.

“Alright. See you again, my apostle.”

“See you again, Fergus.”

A woman was lost in the crowded city. She is feeling dizzy from the people that keep coming and going. The noisy beeps of the cars in the traffic light were deafening. And the dimness of the sky signals the upcoming rain.

“Just where am I?” She asked herself as she saw herself looking at a nearby store’s glass walls to which she mirrored herself. 

Black short hair, brown eyes, pale lips, and fair skin, she was wearing a black shirt and a pair of black pants and slippers. She had nothing in her hands and she looked lost in the city. Just as soon as she thought about going into a police station to ask for her identity, her arm was grabbed and she turned around to see who it was.

There she saw a grown man with a defined chin, such a sculpted face, but his eyes were about to cry. Before she could speak to ask who he was, she was pulled by this man to his embrace. It was so tight that she felt somewhat suffocated but she does not find it annoying.

“We’ve been looking for you, honey.”

She was surprised to hear such sweet endearment and she could tell that the man was crying. The man noticed that she was not moving, so he looked at her face to check one more time. No matter how he looks at her, he is not hallucinating that it is really her that he is holding. His eyes were misty when she had a second look. 

“Let’s go home, okay?” He combed her hair with his fingers and then kissed her forehead which somehow made her feel safe and deja vu.

‘What is this? Did Fergus make a mistake? Did I get the wrong life?’

Just as she was processing her thoughts, her eyes went wide upon realizing that they just entered such a big house after walking for a few minutes. It was such a big house, one fourth of the area of the Imperial Palace. She could not believe that such a home exists in the modern world.

When they came inside the house, she was mesmerized by the interior design. It was so organized and clean, just like her dream modern house. As she looked around, she saw two little children coming from the kitchen. One of them is a girl that might be seven years old and a boy that looks four years old.

“Mommy?” The girl’s eyes widened after recognizing her.

“Mommy!” So then the two children ran towards her as she was surprised by what she just heard.

The kids were hugging her waist and leg so tight and they were crying so loud. She was still in shock when suddenly, her neck was being caressed. She looked at the man who took her to the house. He smiled genuinely before leaning in to kiss her lips. And just as she was about to push him, memories flashed in her head.

When the man let her lips go, continuous tears were pouring in her eyes as she fell on her knees, and embraced her little children.

“My children, I am so sorry.” She sobbed. “Mommy’s back. Please don’t cry. I won’t leave you anymore.”

This was truly… her fourteenth life. 

The fourteenth life she could not remember. She just went out of the house to go to the market but she suddenly felt dizzy as she disappeared. How… How could she leave without saying goodbye? They must have been so worried about her.  They must have searched for her all over the world.

“Mommy, why did you leave? Why were you gone?” Tania, her first born child, cried.

“Mommy, mommy, I miss you so much.” Theo, her second born child, sobbed.

“I am so sorry. I will make it up to you. I will not leave you again, alright?” She sniffed as she felt another embrace from her back.

There she sniffed his lingering perfume. Desmond embraced his family as he kissed his wife’s head.

How could she forget…

It turns out that in her fourteenth life, she met her third consort in college. She is an architecture student and he is a business management student. They fell in love and dated, worked and got married. They built their own home before having children.

As the rain poured outside and the children fell asleep on their bed, they slowly moved to the study room just across their room. She grabbed his collar and tiptoed to reach his lips. It was a hungry kiss that means she had been wanting to do it since she remembered everything. 

On the other side, Desmond touched the back of her head and pushed her closer, opening his mouth to taste the full of her. He then slowly lifted her up so he could put her to the couch. They continued touching each other, feeling the warmth of each other, and shared pleasure for each other. Maybe because they have longed for each other that they were a bit rough. Thanks to the rain, their kids’ sleep had not been disturbed.

The next morning, the maids were confused as to why the study room of the master of the house was messed up with broken vases and figurines. Did the kids play in the study room?

“Mommy, am I going to have a little brother?” Theo suddenly asked as she choked upon hearing it.

“Are you okay?” Desmond asked her, handed her a glass of water, and caressed her back when she was drinking.

“What are you asking, Theo?” Tania looked at Theo, warning him.

“It is unfair. Older sister has a little brother, which is me. She orders me around and I cannot say no to her. I want a little brother too so I can order him around.”

The parents’ gazes fell towards Tania who just looked away from their gazes. So then, she patted Theo’s head.

“You might have a little brother soon but it is not okay to order him around okay?” She pinched his cheek. “You should do the things you can do yourself and do not order others to do it. Understood?”

Theo blushed, “Yes, mommy.”

On the side, Desmond squeezed his hand on her thigh. “Lisandra,” he called her name.

Lisandra turned around to look at him as he moved closer to whisper in her ears.

“Do you know what you just said?” After whispering that, he kissed her ear, making her face hot.

“I know.” 

And ten months later, her two children became three. She was crying after seeing the light in her second son’s hand. When the infant touched her cheek, she knew that it was the child she lost once.

This is her dream. Despite having an unpredicted fate, at least, she could be happy and she could live in peace and solitude with the people she loves.

END