The Beacon -Paul Lahote 2-

Chapter 22

Mavis was exhausted all of the time. She never felt well-rested. That stemmed from the fact she was struggling to sleep. Nightmares plagued her dreams and kept her awake throughout the night.

There was something different about her now, something darker. That scared Mavis. She felt as if she was losing herself to her own mind.

There was a knock on the door. "Mavis, hey." It was Alice. "You okay?"

Mavis stared at her mother. People were always asking if she was okay. "I'm fine."

"Really," Alice leaned against the doorframe. "Because you don't seem fine."

"And how do I seem?"

"Sad," she said quickly.

Mavis sighed. "Let me guess, dad?" Alice nodded and walked into the room. "Mom-"

"We don't have to talk if you don't want to." She sat on the bed beside her. "I just want to here for you." Mavis slid to the side, letting Alice get comfortable beside her. She rested her head on her mother's shoulder. There was a comfortable silence between them. Mavis stared ahead, her mind wandering back to previous topics.

Mavis glanced at her mother, whose eyes were closed. "What are you doing?"

"Listening to your heartbeat."

She raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because," Alice explained. "There was once a point in time when I never thought I would hear it again."

Mavis had no idea how to respond to that. Rather than speaking, she leaned more into her embrace. She was grateful for her mother. She had been taking a different approach recently. Instead of trying to get Mavis to talk, she waited and listened.

"I tried to break up with Paul. It didn't work."

Alice's eyes opened. She was confused at first. Not understanding why Mavis would do that. She loved Paul more than anything. "Why?"

Mavis stayed silent for a moment. She didn't want to explain her true reasons. She hadn't told anyone about what she saw. "I thought he could do better, he disagreed. In the end, he won." Alice knew there was more, but she didn't want to push Mavis into telling her. 

Mavis shook off the feeling inside of her. Everything was different now. It seemed it always would be. Alice could tell she was hurting and had no idea how to help. "Want to talk about how your feeling inside?"

Mavis glanced at her. Truthfully, right now, she did want to talk. "Scared. I'm scared most of the time."

"Why?"

"I'm just scared," she said. "I'm scared every time I hear a door close. Sometimes when the floor creaks, I forget where I am. I feel like I'm back there." Alice remained quiet. "I'm scared of my reflection. Because I see me, but I don't recognize myself." Mavis felt tears start to roll down her cheeks. "Sometimes, I wonder if it will ever stop. Every day I wake up in fear of what I will see. Of what I will experience." She bit down on the inside of her cheek. "I wonder if maybe," she hesitated. "Maybe the only way to stop feeling what I feel is to stop feeling anything at all." It was a heavy confession, and it hurt Alice to hear, but she needed to say it. Mavis wasn't getting better. She was pushing people away. "I think maybe," Mavis started. "Maybe I need some help."

Alice moved away from her and turned to face her. "There is nothing wrong with asking for help." Mavis nodded, "you went through a lot. Most people need help after something like that." Alice wanted Mavis to get better more than anything. "We'll get you some help, okay?"

"Yeah," she whispered. Mavis needed help, and it was time she admitted that to herself. "Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Mavis stood in her bathroom, her back facing the mirror. Since coming home, she has had an issue with mirrors. Every time she looked in one, she didn't see herself. It was like a stranger staring back at her. It was haunting. Mavis wasn't the same person she was weeks ago. That person was gone.

It was the middle of the night, but Mavis didn't sleep much these days. It was hard. Her dreams were filled with memories of what had happened. She saw Melissa constantly.

Mavis dried her hands and opened the door. The Cullens were hunting tonight. They hadn't been in a while. They feared leaving Mavis alone, but she encouraged them to go. They needed to eat. Bella and Edward didn't go with them. They went on different days, but they weren't here. They were with Renesmee at their house. The person watching her tonight was Jacob, but it wasn't his choice. He was doing it as a favor to Edward.

Mavis stepped off the stairs, her eyes on Jacob. He was lying on the couch watching a movie. However, he heard her walking down the steps. "Hey," he sat up.

"Hey," Mavis smiled at him.

"What are you doing up?"

She wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I have trouble sleeping."

Jacob looked like he wanted to question her but luckily didn't. "Oh, sorry." Mavis hummed. "I'm watching a movie. Want to join?"

"Yeah," Mavis whispered. "What are you watching?"

She sat beside him on the couch. "Don't judge me. I love these movies."

The ad ended, and the 1998 Godzilla movie started playing. "I love this movie!" She grabbed the blanket and threw it over her lap.

Jacob was shocked. "Really?" Nobody ever liked this movie.

"Yeah, it's a great film. I've easily seen it twenty times."

"Mavis Hale," he said. "I think I like you more now." She smiled at him, relaxing against the cushions. A silence fell between them as they watched the movie. Mavis felt more relaxed now. She felt safe. Jacob was a good friend, and she trusted him. Suddenly, there was a loud noise. Mavis jumped, a look of panic on her face. "Hey," Jacob could hear her racing heart. "It's just thunder."

"Oh," Mavis blinked a few times. "Oh, right. Sorry." But that didn't calm her. The noise was loud and startled her. Everything made her jumpy these days. Everything triggered her.

Jacob stared at her, his smile falling. Whatever Mavis went through was a mystery, but there was a noticeable change. Everything frightened her. She was different, almost colder. Like she had lost the part of her that made her so lively. Her positive attitude used to annoy him, but now he missed it. Jacob knew Mavis needed someone outside her family. He wanted to be that person for her.