𝐄𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 | g. w

5. explanations

I spend the next couple of days doing everything I can to keep my mind off my broken off relationship with the boys. What happened with them in the Gryffindor common room, my short conversation with George and how I made the decision to cut ties with them has been weighing heavily on me. It's not that I wanted to be rid of them, I just felt as if they didn't trust me enough to share in whatever is going on. And friendship is supposed to be based on trust. I guess I thought they cared about me the way I do them, but apparently that isn't the case at all.

During the days I try my best to concentrate on all my schoolwork and when I'm not in class, I spend most of my time in the library, studying. I'm mostly alone, working on homework and reading up on whatever subjects we're discussing in class. I notice how my dorm mates all seem to worry about me as they ask how I'm doing quite frequently. I don't really know what to say to them other than that I'm okay, although that's not true at all, and the sympathy they show me give me little to no comfort. I just want my best friends back, but my deep rooted stubbornness keeps me from taking them back.

Fred and Alfie try and talk to me on several occasions, and George sends me sad smiles across the hall whenever I see him, but I completely freeze whenever it happens and instead of sending them a smile back the way I used to, I just turn my heels around or my gaze away from them. The silent treatment is very much still in the works, and I can tell it's not only affecting my own feelings but other as well. Luna makes sure to ask me how I'm doing quite often, and whenever I'm not completely knee deep in homework, she keeps me company. We take frequent walks around the grounds, she makes me jewellery and even goes out of her way to get me some custard creams from the kitchen when she notices I'm more sad than usual. Evidently, I can't help but feel gratitude towards her kind actions and words, but no matter how much I appreciate what she's trying to do, I can't help but still feel completely shattered by what's happened. I lost some of the best friends I ever had and that's not something I can simply move on from. After all, nothing about this is simple.

I'm still hoping that they'll come around, that they'll realise what our friendship means to them and hopefully tell me whatever it is that they're hiding. That whatever it is they're keeping from me doesn't mean more to them than I do, and that they'll find it in their hearts to trust me. That's all I ask, after all. For them to trust me enough to let me in.

When Luna and I are on one of our daily walks around the grounds, I hear a voice shouting at me from behind us. I recognise the voice immediately as Alfie, the friend I've known the longest (ever since he and his parents moved in next door to us) and the one I thought would be reasonable enough to tell me whatever's going on. He shouts my name and few times, grasping the attention of both me and Luna, but I grab her arm and pull her forward, indicating that I'd much rather ignore him.

"Mia! Mia, come on! I just want to talk to you!", he continues, adamant at getting me to speak to him. "Please just let us explain. You'll see why we couldn't tell you."

Luna pulls us to a stop. "Maybe you should talk to him", she mutters, giving me a kind and sympathetic smile, before leaving me alone with Alfie.

"Wha—", is all I manage to croak out, before I watch her silhouette walk back to the castle entrance. Alfie looks back at me, frowning and I sigh deeply before prompting him to speak.

"Well?", I start. "Speak up. What is it you wanted to say. Give me one reason I should even consider forgiving you."

"We wanted to tell you all about what's going on, but Sirius and the others told us not to—"

"—Wha—Sirius? You mean Sirius Black? The murderer?" I gasp, growing more and more suspicious of whatever they spent their summer doing.

"He's not really a murderer. Well, it's a long story. All you need to know is that we wanted to share it with you, but they kept us from doing so"

I raise a brow. "They? Who is 'they'?".

"The Order of The Phoenix. It's a society. A secret society founded by Dumbledore in the 70's to oppose Voldemort and his followers during the first Wizarding War."

I huff. "So you mean to tell me that the reason why you all ignored me for weeks and have been keeping this from me is because of some secret war alliance? Great".

"Mia...", he looks at me sadly, taking my hand and caressing it gently. "We did it to protect you. We didn't want you to be at risk in case something happened. Besides, the only reason I really know about all of this is because the twins let it slip. We were going to tell you soon enough, it's just— well—"

"—-Dumbledore asked you not to say anything. Yeah, I got it."

"I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive us. The twins—they're both really hung up about it. I saw the look on George's face the other night. He tried to talk to you didn't he?"

I nod. Nothing about this makes any sense at all, but at the same time, I get why they couldn't tell me anything. Dumbledore can be very persuasive at times, and one does best not to ignore his wishes. "He did".

"He loves you, you know?", he asks, sending me a wink.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?", I say loudly, letting a small but hastily chuckle escape my lips.

"I see the way he looks at you. It's quite funny how obvious it is and how oblivious you are."

"Shut up", I smile, hitting his shoulder playfully.

"I'm just saying", he says cheekily as we make our way back to the castle.

It's good to have at least one of my best friends back. Now all I got to do is talk to the twins about it.