𝐄𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 | g. w

14. wanting

I spent the next couple of weeks just trying to keep out of Umbridge's way, and I'm pretty sure my tactics are much different from the twins and Alfie's. Not only do I notice that they keep trying to mess with her, but it's almost as if they're trying even harder to get on her nerves. It's making me nervous, because I don't want them to get hurt, and I now know first-hand just how cruel that witch can be.

"I just—I don't like seeing you guys hurt." I tell them.

"We're fine, Mia", Alfie starts.

"Yeah, we're big boys. We can handle a bit of Umbridge", George continues.

I know that they can take care of themselves, but I just can't help but feel like things are about to get worse. So much worse. I don't know what it is, but something inside me tells me that this is just the beginning.

(...)

Later during the year, I'm approached by Hermione Granger. I don't really know her that well other than the fact that she's best friends with the twins' younger brother Ron, and we haven't really spoken before, so when she does I'm slightly taken aback by the clear decisiveness she radiates.

I'm in the library studying for my exams when she stalks towards me with quite a pep in her step.

"Hi", she starts.

She then goes on to tell me how we need someone to teach us how to defend ourselves in case (or rather, when) something happens and how she has come up with an idea to help us do so. She wants me to come to Hogsmeade later today and tells me that she'll tell me more when I do.

I meet up with the boys right after, and it quickly becomes clear that Granger has informed them about the meeting as well, so we walk together towards the small village after school.

When we get there, it becomes quite apparent that we're not the only ones the Golden Trio has managed to rope into whatever their plans are. No, both Luna and Lee are there, as well as a bunch of Hogwarts students I know nothing more than the face of.

Luna smiles at me when I walk through the door of the old pub. I take in my surroundings, quickly realising the stare of the place. There's chairs spread everywhere, cobwebs lining the walls and the old man—whom I presume to be the owner—stares angrily at the door every time it opens.

"Luna, hi", I beam, jumping to hug the closest girl friend I have. The twins and Alfie seat themselves next to me and it's only a matter of time before Hermione clears her throat and starts explaining just why we're all gathered here.

We're told the trio has come up with the idea of letting Harry Potter teach us how to defend ourselves against dark forces, and that we would be meeting up as a group to practice defensive spells. We decide that the best thing to do is to write each our names on a piece of paper, so that way we know of all the members in the group. Fred is one of the first ones to write down his name, and when it's my turn, I can't help but let out a chuckle at his lazy handwriting.

"What?", George asks as he catches me grinning.

"Nothing", I smile, admiring his facial features. The crook of his nose, the tiny freckles dotting his cheeks. Merlin, am I doomed.

(...)

The next couple of days are spent watching George and Angelina from afar, grunting under my breath. I know all too well that I only want what's best for him and if what's best is Angelina Johnson, then I can't be standing in the way of that. Yet, I can't shake the ultimate pain that comes with watching the one you love be together with someone else. It's unlike any sort of heartbreak I've ever experienced, and I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to move forward from this nightmare I've found myself in. I love him, I'm in love with George Weasley, and I'm probably never going to stop, but it's due time I start being happy for him. I can't be moping about, if Angelina is who he wants, then I have to be supportive of the two of them.

Only, I can't.

It's impossible for me not to feel as if things could have gone way differently, if only I had told him of my feelings sooner. If only I had told George that I love him, and not like brother or best friend, then maybe I would've been the one on his arm right now. Maybe.

"Just tell him, already. All this moping around has me growing greys."

It's Alfie who's whispering to me. He's caught me staring at George and Angelina for what must be the tenth time today.

"I can't. You know I can't. He's happy with her."

Alfie sighs, draping his arm around my shoulders and scooping up mashed potatoes with the other. Fred and Lee sits opposite us, both of them are nodding encouragingly.

"Come on. Anyone can see that he loves you. He doesn't love Angelina, I'm telling you. She's just a distraction. He doesn't think you could ever return his feelings—"

"—but if you tell him—", Fred chimes in.

"—If I tell him I'll only ruin a good thing. And you can't be sure that he doesn't love her, I mean look at them. They clearly like each other."

"Yeah, the probably do—"

"Lee!", Fred and Alfie chorus.

"I'm just saying", he continues, "he likes Angelina, yes, but I'd bet you a million galleons that he loves you."

I let my shoulders fall back. "I just— I'm scared." I let a tear escape my eye, but I'm quick to wipe it away. "I don't want to lose him."

Alfie hugs me from the side, pressing a kiss to my temple. "You won't".

"Yeah", Fred says. "That's the last thing that will happen."

I look back at my three friends, smiling at them, before I turn back once more to cast a last glance towards George and Angelina.

All of my doubts that George could ever harbor at least stronger feelings than friendship towards me waver when I catch him sending me a death glare from across the hall.

Man, why is this all so complicated?