SCARS

ONE

You're useless!!

He left me here in this hell because of you!!!

Why can't you just die, you little whore!!!???!!!

My mother's words rang through my head as I dragged the blade across my wrist over and over. My blood ran from the cuts and dripped to the floor. I felt the cold streams of tears continue to roll down my face no matter how many times I have tried to get them to stop. My mom was in one of her moods again. She had just gotten home from a friend's house, leaving me home alone again. She had seemed happy for a few moments until she realized that I was the person she was talking to, not our neighbor's daughter.

You useless little bitch!!!

She screamed at me again and again. When she had ran out of breath she threw things at me until I had ran into the bathroom and shut the door. When I had decided that I had felt enough for tonight I grabbed my first aid kit from underneath the sink and opened it. I wrapped the knife I was using in a washcloth and placed it back in the box. I grabbed a few bandages and carefully put them on the wounds. I taped them down and covered them carefully in an ace bandage. I pulled on my bathrobe and ran to my room.

The scars were on fire as I pulled my bathrobe off. I exchanged the black jumper I was wearing and put on a huge Hollywood Undead t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants. I crawled into bed and pulled the covers over my head.

Maybe I can suffocate myself...It would be easier for everyone if I just died...

When the heat of my own breath became to much for my lungs to take I pulled the blanket away from my face. I rolled onto my side, being very cautious of my wrist, and held my injured arm to my chest.

I could very well die in my sleep.

I stared at my open window across the bedroom.

A murderer could just jump through that. It wouldn't bug me very much and my mom would be perfectly okay with it.

I thought about the possibilities of a murderer coming into my room would be. Probably really slim.

School is tomorrow, Stella. Pull it together.

I forced my eyes shut so I could go back to the black void that most call dream land.

+++++++++++++

The fuzz on the inside of my jacket sleeves pulled at the scabs that have formed over my scars. I tried wrapping it again this morning but my bandage fell apart. My back pack sat in the back seat of my car, holding all of my essentials for the rest of the day. I dragged myself out of my car and shouldered it.

No one will notice if you be careful.

I reminded myself as I walk into the doors of my high school. My stomach growls and I fish out the bottle of hot water I keep handy and gulp a quarter of the bottle down. My daily routine continues on as usual until I get to Home Ec.