SCARS

TWELVE

~Recap~

When she started shouting about how ugly and useless I was, I broke. I pulled my first aid kit out and unwrapped the knife that I had hidden in it.

And then I started to cut again.

(AN: The quote above is from 1000 paper cuts by thekellinunderthevic and it is really good. So please check it out.)
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Th next day at school Conner saw me tense when he grabbed my wrist and knew what I had done. He didn't ask why and he didn't hound me about how much he wished I would stop, and I knew he wanted me to. I could see it in his eyes. He walked me to my classes again today and everyone that had seen what had happened last week glared at me. I guess they thought that Conner would hate me because I shoved him to the ground in front of all his friends.

Before lunch, Conner was pulled into a classroom by the coach to talk to him about half-assing practice yesterday. I was about halfway to the lunch room when someone forced me against the wall. It was one of the guys from the football team. Several of the cheerleaders were standing behind him with their arms crossed. The football player wrapped one of his hands around my neck. He squeezed my neck until I couldn't breathe. He raised his fist like he was going to punch me in the face but thought better of it and hit me in the stomach.

I would have doubled over in pain but every time I tried moving, his grip tightened around my neck. He hit my in the stomach again then dropped me. I was coughing on the ground, trying to catch my breath when the cheerleaders started kicking me in the stomach again and again and again and again.

I eventually caught what little breath I could and started screaming. "Help! Please!!" I shouted but no one came and the cheerleaders continued to kick me and the football player laughed.

I tried keeping my eyes open. I could feel the weight of unconsciousness trying to drown me. I was waiting for someone to come help me. I couldn't take any more. My eyes closed and I drifted.
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I came to in the back of Conner's car. The wieght of three cold sodas kept me down. I looked down at my stomach and three sodas rested on a towel over it. Conner was glancing at me through the rear view mirror. I was having trouble breathing and I couldn't sit up from the pain. "Who? Who did this?" he asked. "Was it Collins?"

I shook my head. And then I regreted it. I had a major headache. "You must have hit your head on the wall while those people were kicking you." I tried hard to keep still. Conner tried to keep the bumps the car hit to a minimum and when he did hit a bump, whether I winced or not, he would apologize. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"The hospital."

I sat up. Forgetting about my possible concusion and my probably bruised stomach. "You can't take me to the hospital." I shouted. "If a doctor sees my scars, I would be sent to center."

Conner pulled off on the side of the road. I layed back down on the back seat and Conner looked back at me. "You need to see a doctor. There could be internal damage. You could be seriously hurt."

"I'm not seeing a doctor. I'm fine. I will have bruises, yes, but I do not want and will not see a doctor. Now please take me home." Conner nodded but had a sad look in his eyes. "If your stomach hurts to the point that you can't move, I'm taking you to the hospital. Not even if your screaming and kicking, you will go."

I nodded and he pulled back onto the road and drove me home.

He walked me to the front door and warned me again about going to the hospital if my stomach was causing me to much pain. I hope he meant by my standards and not his. My mom was at home when I opened the door. She was sitting at the kitchen table working on something. She didn't know I was at home. Not even when I pretty much slammed the door.

She probably is listening to music

I thought. And it was just me that thought it. There was no commentary from my voice. I was a little worried but at the same time, relieved. Maybe she was gone. Maybe I would never have to deal with her again. Maybe.

I walked to my room and dropped my back pack, which Conner had grabbed out of my class before checking me and himself out, on the floor and pulled my phone out of the front pocket.

Hopefully I can ignore her the entire day and she would do the same for me

I didn't want to get my hopes up too high so I pulled my phone out and listened to some Pierce the Viel. My mom came back to my room about four hours later in a drunken haze. She didn't throw anything at me but she was yelling. Yelling over my music. I paused it an listen to her yelling. There was no point in not listening. She would shatter my phone if she noticed I was trying to drown her out. I put my phone down and my mother stormed further into my room. Something she had never done before.

She started shoving things off of my bookshelf and was about to procceed to my desk when I couldn't take it anymore. I walked over to her calmly and slapped her as hard as I could in the face. She seemed stuned for a second before she started punching me and kicking and yelling.

"Don't you ever touch me, you filthy slut!" She yelled. And I sat there I took every second of it. I deserved it. I had stooped to her level. I had layed my hands on her. Like I had told myself every time she hit me or threw things at me that I wouldn't do.

She didn't stop until I started guarding my face from the sting of the slaps she had applied. It seemed that she thought I wasn't worth it. She left and I let myself crumble against the wall. I let myself cry until my eyes were on fire and my cheeks were puffy and gross. I got up and caught a glimpse of myself in the screen of my laptop. I hated the person reflected back at me.

Who am I?
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Song for this chapter: Who are you now by Sleeping with Sirens

I know this chapter was a little short. I hope you like it any way. I think I will be ending this soon. Maybe. I'm not sure. I want to think you guys. All of you for reading this. I hope you have enjoyed it so far.