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23 Jeon Jungkook: Smaller Than This.

TW!: Eating disorder, body shaming, self-hate.

My alarm filled the room, loud beeps echo off the walls. Jungkook stored in his sleep, slowly opening his eyes. "What time is it?" He yawned, stretching his arms. "It's 8:30" He sat up. "I have dance practice till 8:10 pm today." I pouted, he frowned. "I know, I know. But I need to." He kissed me on the head, heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth. about 5 minutes later he was slipping his big black chunky boots, giving me another kiss. "I love you." I smiled. "I love you too." With that he left the house, I immediately went on social media. The comments on my post tore me to pieces.

'Too fat for him.'

'He deserves better.'

'Maybe Jungkook has a side hoe?'

'You'll never be perfect enough for Jungkook.'

'Aww, how cute. She thinks Jungkook loves her.'

I quickly deleted the picture I posted, it was a picture of Jungkook and me at the beach. I ran into the bathroom, the mirror taunting me. The scale bullied me, my weight sat at 160. If I don't eat today, work out until Jungkook gets home. I will bring my weight down to 150. Then I can do the same for a week. quickly getting into my workout outfit, I started my run. The time sped past, it is now 12:40 pm. Maybe 1 more minute, more hours speed by. My stomach grumbled I ignored it, NO FOOD I NEED TO BE THINNER. The clock on my phone reads 4:50 pm. I quickly ran home, the mirror show some stretch marks on my thighs. Tears brimmed my eyes, the world starting to crumble beneath my feet.

My phone rang, Jungkook's perfect face lit up the screen. Drying my tears I answered the call. "Hi, baby!" He sang through the phone, my heart pounded in my chest. The world's weight still crushing me. "Hi." I tried so hard to sound happy. "Baby? What's wrong?" Fuck. "I'm on my period, my cramps hurt." I lied through my teeth. "I'll tell them I have to go home then." Tears dripped down my cheeks. "No, no it's okay. You'll be home soon. I love you." He sighed. "I love you too, beautiful." More tears rolled down my cheeks, my head full of doubt. "Bye." I hung up, my heartbreaking. I need him, I need him to hug me.

I need him to tell me everything is gonna be okay. What if he doesn't love me anymore? My phone alarm started going off. The alarm read 'Ab workout time!' I weakly stood on the scale, my weight going down to 147. I'm still far away 100 pounds. Slowly stepping off the scale, I made my way to our home gym. The heavy door slowly opened, I made my way over to the workout equipment. It had been hours, 8 o'clock quickly rolled around. I haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday. My hunger took over me, soon I had eaten 2 sandwiches. "What have I done."

(What happened next might be triggering to some.)

Opening the toilet, vomit spewed. Everyone's words beat my poor lifeless body. My meal I just ate, now being flushed down the toilet. Loud sobs erupted from me,  I'll never be pretty enough. Punching myself, scratching myself, red and purple marks all over. "Jungkook!" I cried out, wishing he was with me. "Jungkook, I'm sorry." My face was all red at this point. "K-kookie p-please." I choked out between my sobs.

(Jungkook's POV. 8:25 pm)

Unlocking the door to Y/n and I's apartment, stepping inside tossing my bag onto the couch. "Y/n, baby I'm ho-" Suddenly I heard loud sobs. "Jungkook!" My heart rate quickened, running upstairs. "Y/n?!" I called out, she's not in the laundry room. "Y/n! I'm here!" I heard faint sobs, quickly swinging open the bathroom door. Sat Y/n, tears streaming down her red face. She looked extremely pale, my mind went 1000 miles a minute. Scratch marks and bruises lined her arms and legs. "Oh my god!" I engulfed her in a hug, she gripped me tightly. "Baby, what happened?" I asked trying to sound calm. "I'm ugly." She sobbed, I was in disbelief. "Ugly?" I questioned. "And fat!" She responded.

"You're not Ugly or fat" She gripped on tighter. "I'm ugly and fat! I'm a boring person! No one should have to know me-" Letting out a frustrated sigh. "Stop being mean to my girlfriend." She whimpered, more tears gliding down her pink cheeks. "I'm ugly."

I shook my head. "Who told you this?" She pulled out her phone, clicking on her Instagram account. I read the comments, my blood boiling. I gave her a long loving kiss. "You're not ugly, you're not fat." She pouted. "You're my boyfriend you have to say that." I shook my head. "If you were ugly I wouldn't be dating you." She smiled a bit, the Y/n I know and love finally coming back. "I'll be right back." She nodded, I stood up quickly leaving the room. I Vlive quickly started a live, pulling up a chair. Millions of people flooded in. I let out a long frustrated sigh.

Chimmy's lover: 'Jungkook Oppa why do you look so mad?'

Jungkook's waifu: 'What's wrong Oppa?'

"Really? You're asking what's wrong?"

Lola Davis: 'Yes?'

Namjoon's 148 IQ: 'Yes.'

"What you guys said on Y/n's Instagram is DISGUSTING!" I groaned. "She is the love of my life for god sake! She means the world to me! If I could shift those comments to me I would! Give me hate, I can take it! Leave Y/n alone. Because she's probably 1 million times prettier than those people who left the comments." 

Chimmy's Lover: 'I'm so sorry! I was joking. I didn't think it would hurt her.'

Namjoon's IQ: 'I'm so sorry people did that to her. You have every right to be upset.'

"I'm sorry to everyone who didn't leave those comments, but to the people who did... You owe her an immense apology. Have a good night everyone." Turning the Vlive off, Y/n wrapped her arms around me. "Thank you." I kissed her. "Now let's get some food in your stomach." She froze a bit. "Don't worry. You don't need to eat a lot."

(Time skip. Y/n's diary entry)

It's been a year since my eating disorder. I still struggle sometimes but Jungkook helps me through everything. Oh! And were engaged now! :) I'm so happy with him, I feel like if I didn't have Jungkook I would have starved myself. I'm a healthy 160 pounds, I'm way happier with my body. I love posting pictures of Jungkook and me at the beach or gym. I think I finally love myself as Jungkook's friend Namjoo would say lol Bye!

Hello! I hope you enjoyed reading! The next chapter is a request so get ready! :)

Word count: 1134